black_tar_heroin

i really have no hopes and dreams.

i like drinking.

i like painting.

i have no real friends here..

so that is ok.


i hate the morning.. i just get to feel sick all day..

i get to talk to Natalie and she hangs up on me.

i though about driving to texas and killing myself on her doorstep as a joke.

its only funny...
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i broke my foot.

talked to ARI.

talked to Natalie.

talked to Ashley.

then talked to another one by silence.

then i painted all night.

everyday i am on the clock..


....................................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i have to go to court tommorow.

i really dont want to go and say i am guilty for something i didnt do.

I ended up fucking someone i shouldnt have the other night.

The day after i just felt really empty.

i saw her tonight.

everything just feels gross..

lucky enough i was pretty drunk.

but it was pointless..

no tingles when i kiss.

half loose erection..

the whole thing made me feel gay.

i told my ex last night i fucked more guys than girls..

i...
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Special today -- no ice cream.

nothing good happens to ppl like me.

i always forget this.

i hung out at a bar listened to three girls just talk about cash and hairstyles.

i drank fast to shut them up.

silence was the killer..

wet t shirt contest at some crappy bar.

barf.

the girls screamed on que.

i scowled.

how can we be so simple.

i only think about tits...
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