black_beard

So today is the 9 year anniversary of my accident that changed my life forever. I don't even know what to say...what do i have left to say? What can I say that hasn't already been said? I wish I could go back to the times when I had a action packed social life. I wish I wasn't so damn lonely. I wish I could be loved. I went from a kind of popular radio personality to someone who cant even get a job at fucking wal-mart but I guess I can write that one up to the economy and not to the fact that fate loves to kick me right in the balls...I'm talking field goal kind of kick. I feel like I've got nothing to show for the hard work I've done sometimes. I've been asked a few times "will I ever go back to radio?" and the answer is I just don't know. I was so unhappy where I was and I'am happy to not work under a certain someone who took all my love for being a "Pirate" and for being "Black Beard". I miss the days when I could go to any bar in brevard county and not have to pay for a thing...those were the days lol. One thing that makes me lonely and frustrated is every time I meet a girl and it seems to go anywhere i get the good old excuse of "I'm not looking or ready for a relationship" and then a week or two later BAM they are in a relationship with some guy that treats them like shit and I become the shoulder to cry on...the "buddy". this has happened 3 women in a row. I'm tired of it to the point where I'm almost ready to give up on this harsh mistress known as "love"...I think I've rambled and ranted enough.

EDIT TO ADD: make that 4 women in a row *sigh*