black_beard

Not much going on right now but I figured it was time for an update. So here are some things I have said while at the bar this week. Yes I do say these kind of things when I drink.

Me- Who do I look like Brad Pitt? That girl wont give me the time of day.
Friend- But shes a prositute...thats her job.
Me- Yes I know shes a prositute but still...

"Let us not go to that bar. It is a silly place"

"This dont concern you hoss"- when almost getting in a fight about talking to the female bartender and her BF thinking I was hitting on her when actually we were talking about the state of music.

"I'm not drunk! I'm sober-impaired"

"Why do you smell like bacon?"

"Why do most my listeners who call me always drunk?"

" *Burps* Thats from the heart yo"

" *Burps a couple seconds later* and thats from the soul yo"

" *Burps a minute later* and that one my friends was from the brain yo"

"Yeah I can sing and if you buy me some skittles I just might sing for you"

Then some guy comes up to me and says the creepiest thing I've heard in a while "Man...I wish my girlfriend had eyes like yours"

I stopped shaving so next time you see me in public I'll be that guy with the beard with stuff in it.