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bixbygrendel

Toon Town

Member Since 2005

Followers 31 Following 50

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Thursday Oct 19, 2006

Oct 18, 2006
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...and sometimes when setting up equipment a shot can just kinda go off. Happens to give a person a good look at themselves sometimes. And maybe. Just maybe... see things they don't want to see. And while I look awfully unkept in this photo... well.. sometimes... I am.





And at other times we feel like the colour and light are just leaving us.



And from time to time we seem to have too much contrast to what and where and who we should be.




And sometimes... just every once in a while, we see intense violence where others see sex.






And maybe from time to time we see ourselves in someone else. Even when that someone only existed a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.




And every once in a while you have these insane uncontrollable urges to...... well...........





And when it's all said and done and you look back at everything that's happened in the past year. Getting arrested. Having my LEGALLY built life stippred away. Being so damn close to finally finding your daughter just to have that ripped away. Learning how many people really are your friend. Finding happiness again only to find that you've just made yourself another addiction, only this time built out of a person. Nearly loosing your mind completely when it all gets to be just too too too much. Realizing that the person you were once very much in love with is now nothing more than annoyance. And finally seeing, after all the shit that you are now 1 year older and 30 years wiser. Well..... it's been a trip. But I still want off this train. And really. The point to all this is simply.... Of all the things I miss I miss myself the most. Maybe I'm at the bottom of this bottle. Or I could be under this heap of blow. Or maybe floating at the top of this here syringe. No. None of those places I've ever looked. Here I was, the whole time. Sitting in my "angry chair" seeing my reflection in the TV in front of me. Who would have known that mental anguish and the hardest year of your life would be something you'd never want to give up.... cuz finally.You found you.


VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
t7:
You expected less from me?
Oct 25, 2006
whitewidow:
*FOUND*

1 Medic - in slightly rough shape
Will recover with rest, time and love

Thanks for keeping your eyes peeledwink

Kisses
kiss kiss
Oct 25, 2006

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