bitten

FML! So I just got back from seeing and meeting my new neurologist. He seems like a drug pusher. He didn't ask me my symptoms per se just what drugs I had taken. So he told me that he wants to test me for the JC virus. If I am negative again then he wants to continue with the Tysabri treatment. He said that the 3-4 year mark is when the people develop PML. Well that is exactly where I am at. He says that people who have been on it have a 10 in 1000 chance of developing PML buuuuuut people who did chemotherapy have a 1 in a 100 chance. Well I did do chemotherapy for almost two years. I am so fucking pissed right now. If I had a gun I would go to the shooting range and shoot stuff. I am finally getting a new life. I cannot move in with my boyfriend and have to go off the Tysabri and then have my MS come back. Tysabri has a 70% chance of stopping relapses while Copaxone (one of the daily injections I used to do) has a 30% chance. He said in MARCH they are coming out with a new oral drug. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

so he pretty much wants me to stay on the tysabri. I do not want to. I do not want to develop PML.

I found out what happened with my neurologists. The MS clinic I went to got bought out and all the doctors are leaving. So he said 3000 people that went there now have to find new neurologists. They all left because their income was lowered.

I cried a little driving home from the doctor.

I finally came to the conclusion why I never tried to have relationships or anything. I just will lose it all again. It was hard enough the first time to lose EVERY GODDAMN THING in my life.

I seriously need a good fuck or something.

I need a cigarette.

I think I'm going to buy some.

Bites and licks,
Bitten the pissed