Okay - a bit of my philosophy on a part of life. This actually started in Jessica's journal on inside/outside beauty. You may want to look there first and then come back. But it made me want to write. Alot.
Now - many of you will probably think I come across as a big hypocrite as you read what I write. I'm more guilty than most as being a guy(dude, male) who runs around here to the SGs and army members and e-mails them (not IM - I'm not rude like that), or posts on their page or on the boards and mention how cute or adorable or sexy or lovely they are (or any other manner of compliments). I don't mean it to be creepy - but just complimentary (although my lack of social skills may make it sound otherwise). Maybe girls don't like to hear that - the compliments - but I think that every pretty girl needs to be told that from time to time - even if I am not interested in her - just to tell the truth and pay a compliment. There is real outer physical beauty on this site - Jessica, Violet, Roxy, Elise, Chicago, etc...I could go on and on - do not mean to exclude anybody but I can't type every name and in the members - Gea, Freyja, thirtyseven, eyesoopenned, etc...once again I could go on and on - and I do not mean to exclude. There are others - can't type everybody - the above names are just some of many examples (and I do not mean to creep any of you out - not a psycho here). BUT - while this is outer beauty in MY eyes - I do not think it is recognized by most as conventional outer beauty. The tall, slim, tanned, blonde, small-hipped, silicone implanted models. No thank you. I like the goths, crusties, vapms, pierced, tattoed etc. with small or large natural breats and hips and feckles and the like. My point is - I think it is important that myself and many, many members on this site and SGs recognize outer beauty in men AND women that the "majority" may be blind to. And so why not tell someone you think they are so adorable - especially when they may not hear it elsewhere or every day. I see what I see and like what I like and say what I say - which is always true. Not just pandering to give a compliment for the sake of giving it. And another reason I am hypocritical - is with that being said I am still somewhat reluctant to post a photo here yet. Aside from the fact, that the ones I have on disc are too large and not properly sized - they are from my "work disguise" and I am in the whole suit and tie thing and not my at home, normal tattoed-I'm in black-love my bowling shirt thing. So I don't want to post something and be disregarded as someone who should not be here anyway - and not being the cutest boy around - fearful of putting up any pic.
Part 2 - the inside beauty. The most important beauty. I , myself, also try to comment on people's, lives, thoughts, opinions, stories, posts, songs, poetry. This tells me much more than thier photos and is more important. For many of you - I can read your journals, posts, artistic work and I learn more about you, your thoughts, personality, opinions, likes and dislikes than I ever would by meeting you once in person or on a first date or hanging out at a bar. And for many of you - that is where I see the true beauty of your personalities and what you have to offer the world or people in general or significant others. Things that put your sets or profile photos or other posted photos to shame. True inner beauty. After all - at 37 or 40 you will not look the same as at 18 or 22 - so what you have inside is what counts - that will last and last and what you can always offer. I would hate to be initially judged in a negative way just on outward appearance by a girl because I think she then misses out on all the good stuff inside me. So I try not to do the same to girls. I mean - we are all human - so yes - whatever we find to be beautiful physically we like to look at and appreciate - and I am no exception. But when it comes down to it in dating or relations my theory is - if I go blind today - would I still want to date this person, be with this person, love this person. If I could never look at them again - where their appearance was not important - would I still want to be there. And if you ask this question - the answer may surprise you.
Okay - maybe I'm a puss for thinking this way. Maybe I have missed the boat and have it all wrong. Just my rant.
"There's only one way of life..and that's your own, that's your own, that's your own." The Levellers 1993
Now - many of you will probably think I come across as a big hypocrite as you read what I write. I'm more guilty than most as being a guy(dude, male) who runs around here to the SGs and army members and e-mails them (not IM - I'm not rude like that), or posts on their page or on the boards and mention how cute or adorable or sexy or lovely they are (or any other manner of compliments). I don't mean it to be creepy - but just complimentary (although my lack of social skills may make it sound otherwise). Maybe girls don't like to hear that - the compliments - but I think that every pretty girl needs to be told that from time to time - even if I am not interested in her - just to tell the truth and pay a compliment. There is real outer physical beauty on this site - Jessica, Violet, Roxy, Elise, Chicago, etc...I could go on and on - do not mean to exclude anybody but I can't type every name and in the members - Gea, Freyja, thirtyseven, eyesoopenned, etc...once again I could go on and on - and I do not mean to exclude. There are others - can't type everybody - the above names are just some of many examples (and I do not mean to creep any of you out - not a psycho here). BUT - while this is outer beauty in MY eyes - I do not think it is recognized by most as conventional outer beauty. The tall, slim, tanned, blonde, small-hipped, silicone implanted models. No thank you. I like the goths, crusties, vapms, pierced, tattoed etc. with small or large natural breats and hips and feckles and the like. My point is - I think it is important that myself and many, many members on this site and SGs recognize outer beauty in men AND women that the "majority" may be blind to. And so why not tell someone you think they are so adorable - especially when they may not hear it elsewhere or every day. I see what I see and like what I like and say what I say - which is always true. Not just pandering to give a compliment for the sake of giving it. And another reason I am hypocritical - is with that being said I am still somewhat reluctant to post a photo here yet. Aside from the fact, that the ones I have on disc are too large and not properly sized - they are from my "work disguise" and I am in the whole suit and tie thing and not my at home, normal tattoed-I'm in black-love my bowling shirt thing. So I don't want to post something and be disregarded as someone who should not be here anyway - and not being the cutest boy around - fearful of putting up any pic.
Part 2 - the inside beauty. The most important beauty. I , myself, also try to comment on people's, lives, thoughts, opinions, stories, posts, songs, poetry. This tells me much more than thier photos and is more important. For many of you - I can read your journals, posts, artistic work and I learn more about you, your thoughts, personality, opinions, likes and dislikes than I ever would by meeting you once in person or on a first date or hanging out at a bar. And for many of you - that is where I see the true beauty of your personalities and what you have to offer the world or people in general or significant others. Things that put your sets or profile photos or other posted photos to shame. True inner beauty. After all - at 37 or 40 you will not look the same as at 18 or 22 - so what you have inside is what counts - that will last and last and what you can always offer. I would hate to be initially judged in a negative way just on outward appearance by a girl because I think she then misses out on all the good stuff inside me. So I try not to do the same to girls. I mean - we are all human - so yes - whatever we find to be beautiful physically we like to look at and appreciate - and I am no exception. But when it comes down to it in dating or relations my theory is - if I go blind today - would I still want to date this person, be with this person, love this person. If I could never look at them again - where their appearance was not important - would I still want to be there. And if you ask this question - the answer may surprise you.
Okay - maybe I'm a puss for thinking this way. Maybe I have missed the boat and have it all wrong. Just my rant.
"There's only one way of life..and that's your own, that's your own, that's your own." The Levellers 1993
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
Thinking of the person you're dating if you were blind is an interesting concept. I think I did that for awhile and then started questioning it. I would jump into relationships with people because of how good of a person they were and then later realize I wasn't that physcially attracted to them, ha ha.
When my friends would ask why I was going out with a hair-plugged 38 year old overweight man, I'd say "when you are attracted to somebody's essence, you become attracted to them in every way, including physical"- which is true to a point. But I'd like to believe there is a happy medium out there somewhere.
As Judge Judy says, "Beauty fades, but dumb is forever". You're right, what's infinite is the emotional impact a person leaves with another.
Then again, Judge Judy also said "don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining", and that just doesn't make much sense, ha ha.
Don't mind me- I'm just up really, really late. Or really early, depending on which way ya look at it.
I could leave it at that, but I won't. I have this thing about compliments and women...it is so crazy...Men yell out at them on the street because they are beautiful and women get mad, girls where little skirts and half tops and are whistled at and get mad, a man compleimetns you sweetly at a bar and they get mad...but if youd on't say anything, they get pissed. You can't win either way. I personally love any compliments, I wave and smile at the ghetto boys on my street when they yell shit. I dance with the obese drunk redneck with the broken leg when he says I am beautiful and can we dance...(True Story) I accept drinks and smile and say thank you. It feels good to be appreciated....
As for the inner beauty thing...I am constantly amazed by the relationship my boyfriend and I have. When we met, I had a short bob and weighed like 110lbs.l Terribly skinny (drugs) no boobs or ass or anything really. But he loves to tell me how he fell in love with me the moment he heard my laugh. He also love to tell me how much he hated my hair. But it didn't matter after we got to know each other. Now, years later, I have gotten boobs, an ass, had long hair, super short hair, red hair, black hair, blond hair, knee surgery and gotten really fat, lost it, and he still tells me I am beautiful and wants to fuck all the time. He doesn't particularly like my large amount of piercings or tatoos, but he likes me. Just me. And we know so many differnet things that it is fun to share our specioalties with each other...you can tell by looking at our bookshelves...
WE interest each other and we laugh alot.
I once thought the best complement I ever got was from an ex of mine...he said
"I can't masturbate unless I am thinking of you"
I think it is now what my boy said to me awhile ago
"You are cool enough to go out with and homey enough to stay home with."
I never thought I would ever meet someone who liked me in zit cream as much as lingerie, who actually listened when I spoke.It is probalby annoying to read all this, but it just amazes me when I meet people who like me anyway...and proof that inner beauty rocks.