biship

So it's a new year and a whole new vibe. I apologize for my long absence from SG. My life since August has been in such upheaval that hardly know who I am or where I've been or what I've been doing!!
I had an 8 year relationship end, started a new one (erroneously, but I'll get into that alter) moved house, regretted moving and now have to find another place to live!
So. let it never be said that my life is boring.
I have come to the conclusion that I am a control freak. I've been trying to bend the universe to my tiny will and it has only bitten me on the ass. And whopped me on the head. And just about every other unpleasantness you can conceive. I'm an idiot.
Apparently the only way I could summon the chutzpah to end things in my last relationship was to have an affair. How stupid of me. creating yet another reason and excuse to not step out into the unknown.
I wrongly thought this new man was the answer to all my prayers. Turns out, not so much
So now I am living in his house. He thinks this is for keeps and I just wanna run a mile, but feel trapped.
My dear parents who live in Canada are absolutely gagging to have me join them there, but my stupid pride has held me back. Whatthefuckamidoing?
I think I have to summon the strength to just take the plunge and leave and head for colder climes.
what do Y'all think?
Promise to be in better touch from now on
lots of love
and brightest blessings on SG-land
B