7:23PM Tuesday, 24th October 2006
Listening to: Ben Harper - Live from Mars. Watching: Fifth season of Six Feet. Reading: I'm way too fickle when it comes to books, I wish I could just sit down and stick to one again but my concentration levels are still lacking.
Well you know that when it's been awhile since I've written, it means I've either isolated myself from my life or I'm actually enjoying it so much that I haven't been angsty enough to write anything. Luckily enough for me it's the latter. Don't get me wrong, I've had my shit days, (Jenny doesn't think my new medication is working very well) however I'm also having a whole lot of normal days and a few really happy days stuck in between them all so it's made it pretty bearable. I don't feel so exhausted by it all at the moment. I guess it's because there is soon going to be some sort of direction given when I go see this Psychiatrist. Light at the end of the tunnel and all that jazz. I'm sure I've said it many, many times before but meh, by far the hardest part abut this whole thing, all of it, every tiny smidgen of bitchy, nasty, mood swinginess is that I feel like I've been stripped of my right to trust myself. We base every choice we make on how we're feeling, our 'gut instinct' as they call it, of course the smarter peps tend to also chuck in quite a bit of common sense/rational thinking to balance it all out, but some of the biggest choices the majority of people make are based mainly on how they're feeling. Babies, marriage, sex, family, blah, blah, blah. The whole shabang. Then one day someone tells you that your instincts are essentially bung and you shouldn't listen to them at all cause if you do, you'll never leave your bed. Oh the happy, happy times.
Don't worry, I didn't forget my little (or not so little) Sam rant.
I dare you to find someone else that makes me this happy, mwahaha. Not all smooth sailing but apart from everyone asking me if he is my boyfriend or not, nothing too hefty. Blegh, I'm like a gross puddle of Geni on the floor when it comes to him. Oh well...
*insert happy, silly, girly sigh here* and...................vomit.
I hope you are fine and dandy, I'm sure many of you wont be but it wont last, if there is anything to help you when it's all turning to shit it is that it won't last forever, it has to keep moving in some direction away from where you are now. If you're happy, I retract that last statement and instead I'm sure your happiness will be stuck some little bubble in time and nothing bad will ever happen to you. Ha. Constantly happy people suck.
Listening to: Ben Harper - Live from Mars. Watching: Fifth season of Six Feet. Reading: I'm way too fickle when it comes to books, I wish I could just sit down and stick to one again but my concentration levels are still lacking.
Well you know that when it's been awhile since I've written, it means I've either isolated myself from my life or I'm actually enjoying it so much that I haven't been angsty enough to write anything. Luckily enough for me it's the latter. Don't get me wrong, I've had my shit days, (Jenny doesn't think my new medication is working very well) however I'm also having a whole lot of normal days and a few really happy days stuck in between them all so it's made it pretty bearable. I don't feel so exhausted by it all at the moment. I guess it's because there is soon going to be some sort of direction given when I go see this Psychiatrist. Light at the end of the tunnel and all that jazz. I'm sure I've said it many, many times before but meh, by far the hardest part abut this whole thing, all of it, every tiny smidgen of bitchy, nasty, mood swinginess is that I feel like I've been stripped of my right to trust myself. We base every choice we make on how we're feeling, our 'gut instinct' as they call it, of course the smarter peps tend to also chuck in quite a bit of common sense/rational thinking to balance it all out, but some of the biggest choices the majority of people make are based mainly on how they're feeling. Babies, marriage, sex, family, blah, blah, blah. The whole shabang. Then one day someone tells you that your instincts are essentially bung and you shouldn't listen to them at all cause if you do, you'll never leave your bed. Oh the happy, happy times.
Don't worry, I didn't forget my little (or not so little) Sam rant.
I dare you to find someone else that makes me this happy, mwahaha. Not all smooth sailing but apart from everyone asking me if he is my boyfriend or not, nothing too hefty. Blegh, I'm like a gross puddle of Geni on the floor when it comes to him. Oh well...
*insert happy, silly, girly sigh here* and...................vomit.
I hope you are fine and dandy, I'm sure many of you wont be but it wont last, if there is anything to help you when it's all turning to shit it is that it won't last forever, it has to keep moving in some direction away from where you are now. If you're happy, I retract that last statement and instead I'm sure your happiness will be stuck some little bubble in time and nothing bad will ever happen to you. Ha. Constantly happy people suck.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
I just had to say hi because of your awesome screen name.
hows you?
xx