So Onefoolishline tried to teach me to smoke today. I could not suck the flame in properly to keep it lit and the SF breeze kept extinguishing it. At one point she yelled "PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH, BITCH!" and I said "Ooooh I love when you order me around like that." Onefoolish line should be gay and she has major budonkadonk like whoa.
Then I went to the tobacco store to try to buy Camel Cremas but the guy at the store, when I asked him about flavored cigarettes and told him I didn't smoke, said "Hey, you're a nice girl. You don't need to be smoking. I think you should use the money for something else and go think twice about it. It's a bad habit for someone like you." I said, "WHAT THE HELL SIR, YOU RUN A TOBACCO SHOP!"
So I went for a walk and bought an autographed Ann Bannon novel instead. Nothing like well-written lesbian romance to live vicariously though.
This does not change the fact that I am still horny. Someone please tell me what to do about this problem, as I still refuse to go to a sex club or have a one night stand, ever.
Dear God,
How can you create a human woman with the capacity to fuck for 6 hours, get off 8 times in 2 hours, and only give her sex for one weekend a year? This is unfair. I would like to speak to your supervisor.
Love,
B-Femme
I am still working on my newly developing seduction technique. Soon I shall perfect it and battle against 12 of the other flirtiest femmes in the world, in a tournament much like Street Fighter. Oooh...femme fighter.
HADOUKEN!!!!!
YUP-YUP-YUP!
Then I went to the tobacco store to try to buy Camel Cremas but the guy at the store, when I asked him about flavored cigarettes and told him I didn't smoke, said "Hey, you're a nice girl. You don't need to be smoking. I think you should use the money for something else and go think twice about it. It's a bad habit for someone like you." I said, "WHAT THE HELL SIR, YOU RUN A TOBACCO SHOP!"
So I went for a walk and bought an autographed Ann Bannon novel instead. Nothing like well-written lesbian romance to live vicariously though.
This does not change the fact that I am still horny. Someone please tell me what to do about this problem, as I still refuse to go to a sex club or have a one night stand, ever.
Dear God,
How can you create a human woman with the capacity to fuck for 6 hours, get off 8 times in 2 hours, and only give her sex for one weekend a year? This is unfair. I would like to speak to your supervisor.
Love,
B-Femme
I am still working on my newly developing seduction technique. Soon I shall perfect it and battle against 12 of the other flirtiest femmes in the world, in a tournament much like Street Fighter. Oooh...femme fighter.
HADOUKEN!!!!!
YUP-YUP-YUP!
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
We still need to get out and explore this city sometime. You up for it?
For the horniest, I think a masturbation-fest is the only option. It's like rapid chain smoking in a closet to kick the cigarette habit. Do it until you're sick, and then emerge into the SF night a new women, albeit tired and sore.