"Neither honey nor the honey bee is to be mine again" -Sappho
Indeed. Woke up this morning in a fit of Aries impulsiveness. I must go back to my hometown. Must. This means i'll miss that cool feminist protest but oh well. Something is pulling me back there, I need to see my best friend and my ex boyfriend. I miss him. One of my other friends back home called me yesterday and said she's moving to Arizona...i've gotta catch her before she leaves. Wow, I feel like Simba going back to the pridelands on The Lion King.
The only cool thing about going back home is running into all of the losers from Christian High School. All the fuckwads who called me ugly or dorky back in the day are now pregnant or doing nothing with their lives. Each time I come back in the city, I come back in a maelstrom of fashion and bravado, willing to throwdown with any of the cheerleaders from the past and they never have anything to say. It's fun.
"So, you have a kid now." -Me
"Yeah, I have two." -Fat cheerleader
"That's nice. I'm still going to college to get my degree in English. I've had a few things published. I'm still working on finishing my own book though. I go clubbing like several days a week, I dance in a cage. My school offered me a radio show as a DJ. Oh yeah, and I LOVE pussy, i'm really glad I got out of our restrictive Christian High School. Women get me all hard-nipped." -Me
"....." -Cheerleader
"Fabulous seeing you again. Good luck with your baby." **Winks, sips white mocha and walks away, smelling like Chanel's Allure** -Me
Sorry, i'm not the type to be an evil, bragging jerk, but I just love putting the smack down on people from high school, they were complete and utter asses to me, made my life a living hell. Tortured me. I never liked the popular girls, I always hung out with the video game dork boys and the artsy punk girls. Artists were a definite must for me. I hated the mainstream. They tried to vote me "most likely to be single in 20 years!" I had a big dork following though, as I always fought for them when I saw people picking on them. I'm good at fighting with assholes. So the dorks and the artists voted me "funniest senior girl" and "most likely to become famous." Good karma pays off. I love being a superhero.
I was always playing funny pranks in high school. One time, for elections, I ran for chaplain, right? So I got dressed up in a black leather outfit and went up to the podium, booming over the speakers that if elected, we would enter a glorious dictatorship and that all would be ruled under my oppresive iron fist and "spice-girl-esque repartee." Everybody cracked up. I almost won, but the most popular guy in school beat me by a small amount of votes.
Then when we were voting for the homecoming queen, I was on the ballot but knew i'd never win, right? So I bought a tiara and just wore it to school, like nothing. "Oh my god, are you the homecoming queen?" People would ask. I'd tear up. "Yes...I am! I never thought I would win. Thank you so much for voting for me, it means so much!" Then by the end of the day people found out the truth and got pissed. "Hey, you're not the homecoming queen!!!" I'd mwa ha ha and run away.
See, this is how I made it through an intolerant, Republican high school. By playing jackass stunts. lol. Being a dork RULES!!!!
I'm coming home! For Tanya and her baby! For Heather before she leaves! For my Prince Charming Adrian and a shared hot cup of coffee between old comrades and lovers.
Indeed. Woke up this morning in a fit of Aries impulsiveness. I must go back to my hometown. Must. This means i'll miss that cool feminist protest but oh well. Something is pulling me back there, I need to see my best friend and my ex boyfriend. I miss him. One of my other friends back home called me yesterday and said she's moving to Arizona...i've gotta catch her before she leaves. Wow, I feel like Simba going back to the pridelands on The Lion King.
The only cool thing about going back home is running into all of the losers from Christian High School. All the fuckwads who called me ugly or dorky back in the day are now pregnant or doing nothing with their lives. Each time I come back in the city, I come back in a maelstrom of fashion and bravado, willing to throwdown with any of the cheerleaders from the past and they never have anything to say. It's fun.
"So, you have a kid now." -Me
"Yeah, I have two." -Fat cheerleader
"That's nice. I'm still going to college to get my degree in English. I've had a few things published. I'm still working on finishing my own book though. I go clubbing like several days a week, I dance in a cage. My school offered me a radio show as a DJ. Oh yeah, and I LOVE pussy, i'm really glad I got out of our restrictive Christian High School. Women get me all hard-nipped." -Me
"....." -Cheerleader
"Fabulous seeing you again. Good luck with your baby." **Winks, sips white mocha and walks away, smelling like Chanel's Allure** -Me
Sorry, i'm not the type to be an evil, bragging jerk, but I just love putting the smack down on people from high school, they were complete and utter asses to me, made my life a living hell. Tortured me. I never liked the popular girls, I always hung out with the video game dork boys and the artsy punk girls. Artists were a definite must for me. I hated the mainstream. They tried to vote me "most likely to be single in 20 years!" I had a big dork following though, as I always fought for them when I saw people picking on them. I'm good at fighting with assholes. So the dorks and the artists voted me "funniest senior girl" and "most likely to become famous." Good karma pays off. I love being a superhero.
I was always playing funny pranks in high school. One time, for elections, I ran for chaplain, right? So I got dressed up in a black leather outfit and went up to the podium, booming over the speakers that if elected, we would enter a glorious dictatorship and that all would be ruled under my oppresive iron fist and "spice-girl-esque repartee." Everybody cracked up. I almost won, but the most popular guy in school beat me by a small amount of votes.
Then when we were voting for the homecoming queen, I was on the ballot but knew i'd never win, right? So I bought a tiara and just wore it to school, like nothing. "Oh my god, are you the homecoming queen?" People would ask. I'd tear up. "Yes...I am! I never thought I would win. Thank you so much for voting for me, it means so much!" Then by the end of the day people found out the truth and got pissed. "Hey, you're not the homecoming queen!!!" I'd mwa ha ha and run away.
See, this is how I made it through an intolerant, Republican high school. By playing jackass stunts. lol. Being a dork RULES!!!!
I'm coming home! For Tanya and her baby! For Heather before she leaves! For my Prince Charming Adrian and a shared hot cup of coffee between old comrades and lovers.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
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but oh well.