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bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

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Tuesday Apr 29, 2003

Apr 29, 2003
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Ha, no response from Audrey. I think I may have embarassed her. Oh well.

Brain says, truthfully, factually, and in concrete blocks of realization, that there is no such thing as love, merely electrical impulses in your head. Brain also knows that cruelty is mathematically the majority of the outcomes in your dealings with people, as every human being wants the greatest good for themselves.

Heart says to search out love even if it doesn't exist because your life is not worth living if you give up on the things you dream of.

I know, from personal experience, that there really is no such thing as love, merely people playing a charade of it, and arrangements of convenience, whether those arrangements are for money, sex, or some sort of emotional stability that benefits both people for a small amount of time. I raised myself as a kid without love, so why can't I live without it now that i'm a grown woman?

My head knows there is no such thing as love.

So why do I keep searching for it? There is nothing there.

I am pursuing a mirage. Chasing a pointless illusion.

And I will hound it until one of us goes down.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
crazydasaint:
Another reason to love BFemme: compared to her (and maybe three other people on the planet) I'm a sunny idealist!

Love is a state of mind, like anger or happiness. Are anger and happiness not real because they only exist in your head? Or not real because they don't last forever? They all affect your behavior, so they have concrete effects in the world.

You can't look at somebody drinking themselves into a bleary teary stupor, or dancing down the sidewalk, or going to a dance class when they have the grace of an especially clumsy walrus -- can't see people acting in extraordinary ways they never would otherwise -- and say that there's no such thing as love.

Love isn't always pretty, sure. It isn't always selfless. It doesn't always make us more generous or giving or understanding. It doesn't always make us better people. It's a powerful emotion, with the ability to raise or lower us with more power than most anything else out there.

Love is very real, and frankly somewhat terrifying.
Apr 29, 2003
bionicfemme:
1) This journal has drawn out some of the most interesting responses i've ever seen...i'd never thought about things the way Olivia put it before. I feel better thinking about things that way.

2) lol@crazybob...see, I am painfully an idealist, Which is why this love quest hurts so badly. I really do believe, in all honesty, that I could spend the rest of my life with someone and never get tired of them, grow with them, and build something special with them, but I keep in focus that the world doesn't want that, generally. We are living in an age where we not only have microwave mac and cheese, but EASY mac and cheese, for people who are just too darn inept and impatient to wait like five more seconds. Nobody wants to invest the time into building something with another human being. We are living in mass produced, consumer culture. Why have one love when you can have several new ones every month? I'm from an age of chivalry. I believe in vowing and pledging and fighting for what is right, I believe in true love, etc. But that then also means i'm lost, from hundreds of years behind everyone else.
Apr 29, 2003

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