bionicfemme

Christina update. (see previous journal)

I was bored, so I decided to order a pizza, visit Christina and share it with her. I knew she couldn't resist greasy, unhealthy food because as I said before, I saw her eating cheeseburgers with the gladdest of hearts just a few days ago.

So we ate pizza, hung out for a couple hours, just laughing hysterically and musing about life until 3:30 in the morning, and then we decided it was time for bed...in seperate residences. DOH!

We had lots to talk about, we found out that I know her best friend and that I know her best friend because Maria (my goodhearted babydyke companion) has been in love with her best friend for ages now, but Heather (Christina's best friend) is completely straight. Maria really is a good girl, just very lonely to the point of dependency. I'd date her but I wouldn't want to disappoint her and push her over the edge, she is so unstable that I think she is barely keeping her head above the water.

Anyway, Christina told me she has a gay aunt, and is totally cool with lesbians. She says that she in fact checks out girls on occasion but is completely straight, and that lots of girls have liked her before but that she isn't disgusted by it, she's flattered, although she doesn't feel mutual. I am a little embarrassed, it is only completely obvious that I liked her when I gave her the flowers and flirted shamelessly with her everytime I saw her. I basically get the vibe she is bi in denial. All girls fall under these categories:

(1)Completely straight
(2)Completely gay
(3)Completely bi
(4)Bi in denial

Bi in denial is the hardest type of girl to get. They are straight but still check out girls, yet are afraid to investigate these desires, so remain straight because it's the most familiar to them and plus they mostly like guys. The only way to get bi girl in denial is to be a good friend, build a friendship that lasts a year, then somehow have some accidental moment where she wants to try things out and you kiss. Then things become precarious with bi girl in denial. She either bolts in the other direction, freaked out that she kissed a girl, or she continues to pursue you until things solidify into something more stable, and then she bolts because that scares her even more. Sometimes, bi girl in denial will find five years from now that they are bi or gay, but it will take the five years from now to realize it.

I got the feeling tonight that if I were to become extremely good friends with Christina and wait for the day she got slightly drunk at a party, I could wear her down. But I really don't have time for games anymore, so I don't think i'm going to try. I mean, I wore a strategically low tank top and saw her look down my shirt a couple times, so I had my answer. It's a shame, I was totally comfortable around her and didn't stutter or act shy at all, we had so much in common. She even likes trance music and listens to the dance station! Oh well. I will still be her friend anyway. I hope to find a girl just like her, only gay.