AAAAAAAAAGGGGGH!!!!
I was wandering around the building, minding my own business, looking for the laundry room. I am clothed in light blue pajamas that make me look like a telletubby (until I actually get the money to buy pj's that make me look like I am not 5 years old) and my leopardskin head rag (a must). Elevator doors pop open. Huzzah, surprise surprise, it's Christina (hot Claudia looking landlady). EGADS!!!
"Whoa heeey...this isn't where I wanted to be!" (I am 4 floors away from the desired destination.) Christina flashes me the cutest most erotic smile in the world. Doors shut.
Why does it always fall under some weird law of physics that whenever I see Christina I look like complete and utter crap??? Just today I was all decked out in my black business suit out for a mocha, could I have run into her then??? Oh noooo, I have to run into her when I look like complete SHIT!
Ack. She is so hot she is going to give me a heart attack. At least I got on her good side with the flowers. Sometimes I sense subtle flirtation on my gaydar, but I think it is just wishful thinking.
"So...Domingo, T.J., do you think Christina could be turned?" -Me
"Aw of course, she's a dyke in the making. Just look at her. She could be turned." -T.J.
"Christina? Are you kidding? She'd rather punch a girl in the eye than go on a date with her, ever!" -Domingo
"Yeah...if it were ever to happen, that girl would have to be extremely hot, it would be difficult, but I think it could be done." -T.J.
...dammit. Why does Christina have to be so cute? It's not fair! **Shaking fist** My heart goes "duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh" x's 195 BPM when I see her. Sooo cute! Sexy laugh! Pretty smile. COMPLETELY STRAIGHT!!!!
RAWWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!!!!! Dude, she said her last ex bf was a psycho too and she had to call the police on him 'cause he was stalking her also. I could SO beat that guy up! Or...not...but that's not the point! I would be 5,000,000,000,000,000 times nicer than that guy, she needs to try being gay, it's the cool thing to do! I always feel like Ned Flanders when I see her. "Hi-diddly-i neighbor!" Yeah, she would only turn for someone ultra sultry and cool...not a 20 year old girl with the persona of the comic book guy from the Simpsons!
"Worst crush EVER! I will be on the internet to register my complaint within minutes!"
Christina I looooove youuuuuu!!!! I wish I could hug you and kiss you and turn you GAYYYYY!!!
I was wandering around the building, minding my own business, looking for the laundry room. I am clothed in light blue pajamas that make me look like a telletubby (until I actually get the money to buy pj's that make me look like I am not 5 years old) and my leopardskin head rag (a must). Elevator doors pop open. Huzzah, surprise surprise, it's Christina (hot Claudia looking landlady). EGADS!!!
"Whoa heeey...this isn't where I wanted to be!" (I am 4 floors away from the desired destination.) Christina flashes me the cutest most erotic smile in the world. Doors shut.
Why does it always fall under some weird law of physics that whenever I see Christina I look like complete and utter crap??? Just today I was all decked out in my black business suit out for a mocha, could I have run into her then??? Oh noooo, I have to run into her when I look like complete SHIT!
Ack. She is so hot she is going to give me a heart attack. At least I got on her good side with the flowers. Sometimes I sense subtle flirtation on my gaydar, but I think it is just wishful thinking.
"So...Domingo, T.J., do you think Christina could be turned?" -Me
"Aw of course, she's a dyke in the making. Just look at her. She could be turned." -T.J.
"Christina? Are you kidding? She'd rather punch a girl in the eye than go on a date with her, ever!" -Domingo
"Yeah...if it were ever to happen, that girl would have to be extremely hot, it would be difficult, but I think it could be done." -T.J.
...dammit. Why does Christina have to be so cute? It's not fair! **Shaking fist** My heart goes "duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh" x's 195 BPM when I see her. Sooo cute! Sexy laugh! Pretty smile. COMPLETELY STRAIGHT!!!!
RAWWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!!!!! Dude, she said her last ex bf was a psycho too and she had to call the police on him 'cause he was stalking her also. I could SO beat that guy up! Or...not...but that's not the point! I would be 5,000,000,000,000,000 times nicer than that guy, she needs to try being gay, it's the cool thing to do! I always feel like Ned Flanders when I see her. "Hi-diddly-i neighbor!" Yeah, she would only turn for someone ultra sultry and cool...not a 20 year old girl with the persona of the comic book guy from the Simpsons!
"Worst crush EVER! I will be on the internet to register my complaint within minutes!"
Christina I looooove youuuuuu!!!! I wish I could hug you and kiss you and turn you GAYYYYY!!!
By the way, if you're pretty, you're pretty... makeup, clothing and headrags don't change that...