I am drunk. And I know this because I am sitting here talking to you naked while eating Peeps.

Gabby went out with me to another lesbian house party. Now that I am hot on the trail of this small and secret scene, it shouldn't be too long before I become a regular in it and get familiar with the people. Again, only femmes were there and actually several of the Lesbians On Campus who greeted me warmly.

I have to sober up. Tomorrow morning, I am supposed to be in a documentary about lesbians in San Francisco. I don't know if I am a good example because I think I am a little more pathetically romantique than the girls here. Gabby wants me to start treating girls like shit. Everyone does. They are right.

The lesbian house scene is awesome...I like getting drunk to the point where everything becomes lights and sweat and hands. I only got hit on tonight by a large hispanic woman dressed as a lumberjack named Mo, right before I was about to leave. Ack. She was so big that she danced with both me and Gabby at the same time, it took two of us to fill her up.

I don't know where my life is going. I feel vicious and powerful and horny, I feel like I could destroy the world. Right now i'm talking toThis Girl but I don't know what will happen between us. She seems pretty cool so far, she is also very romantic, and also an artist. But I don't know if I am capable of being a good human being to her right now. I don't feel like being the good guy anymore. It hurts too much and is pointless. Who knows, if she turns out to be a nice person maybe i'll call off the hounds.

I like getting drunk. Foolishline thinks I might have a problem. I like making the bad things go away. There is nothing left to do but run headfirst into where I probably shouldn't be because I feel like losing control. I want to go down in flames. It lets me know i'm alive.

I don't know if I have a problem. All I know is that when I drink,

I feel like i'm in love.