Mmm, what is my to-do list today?
Finally finish unpacking, as i'm nowhere near done
Call Angela, finally set up date
Find hamster stuffing at store so I can change her cage
Set up day to go back to my hometown, visit best friend and ex-boyfriend
I don't know why I all of a sudden have this need to visit my ex boyfriend. I thought about him yesterday while just walking to my writer's workshop and I miss him. I wonder where he is, what he's doing. I want to go hang out with him at a coffeeshop like old times. He's so funny and feminine, and it impresses me that he has the guts to say he thinks he might be bisexual. I think he is. He always flirts with boys and picks out masculine women to date. They usually look like lumberjacks, I am the only one that even looked like a woman. And even then, I am the rebellious feminist, now turned dyke. Wow, you know what? I was thinking last night that if I become an SG, I might be the only lesbian suicidegirl...are any of them lesbians?
Anyway, I miss him a lot. Actually, although it sounds weird, I was kind of hoping to get the opportunity to kiss him to see if maybe i'm bi. But that wouldn't make any sense because he's the only guy in my life i've been attracted to, and it was really more on a personality level than a physical one. Besides, I could never really see myself having sex with a guy, it kind of grosses me out (no offense to the guys here). So I don't really know what that means. It's like I have a very very faint attraction to one man on the planet for his personality, I don't know if that makes me bi. I just like his humor and the way he makes me think of a funny little drag-queen boy, he is so cuddly. He's the type of person I could just cuddle with forever. I hope he finds a really nice girlfriend who can take care of him, I know he's been waiting for love forever.
Maybe if I get everything done early tonight I can make a trip to the cafe I always go to. I am getting addicted to blackberry mochas, they're so sweet, and so tasty with lots of whipped cream!
The birds are singing outside of my secluded bell-tower...maybe one day i'll find a cool chick who will serenade me outside my window in this small forest, that would make me the happiest chick in the world. Lots of nookie points for that one.
Perhaps i'll take some time to lay out by the windowsill and read my grandmother's diary. She kept a diary in college and my dad gave it to me on my 18th birthday. The pages are yellow and faded, every entry is about how she met a new boy and how he fell in love with her, how they went on a grand date in an automobile. She was very gorgeous, I can see why she got so much attention. Her life is so interesting to read about, every boy wants her and never gets her, she is showered with expensive gifts and one date even involves sneaking into an airplane field and stealing the one plane there, flying off into the night. How romantic.
I wish she were still alive. When I was young, she tried her best to raise me as though I were proper and well-bred, so i'd like to think that at times, even though I curse like nobody's business, I still have some kind of eloquence and class. She taught me all about Chanel and Christian Dior, and Petite Fours and Chianti, always told me quality, not quantity matters, always hold out for the very best. I guess that doesn't explain why I picked N. If she knew about that, she'd probably be very disappointed that I gave myself to a girl who now threatens to cut me open with a knife.
I really do wish she were still alive. But at times I feel she lives in me, now.
Finally finish unpacking, as i'm nowhere near done
Call Angela, finally set up date
Find hamster stuffing at store so I can change her cage
Set up day to go back to my hometown, visit best friend and ex-boyfriend
I don't know why I all of a sudden have this need to visit my ex boyfriend. I thought about him yesterday while just walking to my writer's workshop and I miss him. I wonder where he is, what he's doing. I want to go hang out with him at a coffeeshop like old times. He's so funny and feminine, and it impresses me that he has the guts to say he thinks he might be bisexual. I think he is. He always flirts with boys and picks out masculine women to date. They usually look like lumberjacks, I am the only one that even looked like a woman. And even then, I am the rebellious feminist, now turned dyke. Wow, you know what? I was thinking last night that if I become an SG, I might be the only lesbian suicidegirl...are any of them lesbians?
Anyway, I miss him a lot. Actually, although it sounds weird, I was kind of hoping to get the opportunity to kiss him to see if maybe i'm bi. But that wouldn't make any sense because he's the only guy in my life i've been attracted to, and it was really more on a personality level than a physical one. Besides, I could never really see myself having sex with a guy, it kind of grosses me out (no offense to the guys here). So I don't really know what that means. It's like I have a very very faint attraction to one man on the planet for his personality, I don't know if that makes me bi. I just like his humor and the way he makes me think of a funny little drag-queen boy, he is so cuddly. He's the type of person I could just cuddle with forever. I hope he finds a really nice girlfriend who can take care of him, I know he's been waiting for love forever.
Maybe if I get everything done early tonight I can make a trip to the cafe I always go to. I am getting addicted to blackberry mochas, they're so sweet, and so tasty with lots of whipped cream!
The birds are singing outside of my secluded bell-tower...maybe one day i'll find a cool chick who will serenade me outside my window in this small forest, that would make me the happiest chick in the world. Lots of nookie points for that one.
Perhaps i'll take some time to lay out by the windowsill and read my grandmother's diary. She kept a diary in college and my dad gave it to me on my 18th birthday. The pages are yellow and faded, every entry is about how she met a new boy and how he fell in love with her, how they went on a grand date in an automobile. She was very gorgeous, I can see why she got so much attention. Her life is so interesting to read about, every boy wants her and never gets her, she is showered with expensive gifts and one date even involves sneaking into an airplane field and stealing the one plane there, flying off into the night. How romantic.
I wish she were still alive. When I was young, she tried her best to raise me as though I were proper and well-bred, so i'd like to think that at times, even though I curse like nobody's business, I still have some kind of eloquence and class. She taught me all about Chanel and Christian Dior, and Petite Fours and Chianti, always told me quality, not quantity matters, always hold out for the very best. I guess that doesn't explain why I picked N. If she knew about that, she'd probably be very disappointed that I gave myself to a girl who now threatens to cut me open with a knife.
I really do wish she were still alive. But at times I feel she lives in me, now.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
A Blackberry Mocha sounds like a cool drink and I have never had one. Where is this cafe that serves them, even though I'm about 600 miles away and cannot readily get one? Maybe, if I get dragged to the Bay Area, I'll drop down and try one.
Where's your hometown?
I'm going to be sad if you can't make it for curry tomorrow.