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bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

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Friday Apr 18, 2003

Apr 18, 2003
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Yes!!! I tricked my two most religious friends into buying liquor and vibrators on Good Friday!!!!

So Me, Julia, and Allie were all in Allie's car and somebody started talking about sex (mind you i'm the only non-virgin in the car.) So they ask me, as though i'm a great sage, what turns me on. I said, "Um, anything turns me on, you could blow on my head and it would turn me on." So then Julia blows into my hair and from the back seat I wrap my legs around Allie's head as she's driving moaning "OHHH" and she screams, nearly getting into a head-on collision.

So then they ask the great sage what kind of vibrator I use and I tell them, then they decide they want vibrators too! We got there 15 mins before the store was closing so we had to run down the street humming themes to action movie soundtracks with me yelling "We have to find that explosive dildo detonation device before the city explodes in 15 minutes!" So I drag them over to Good Vibrations and i'm giggling hysterically because i'm tricking my two most religious friends into going to SF's most perverse store. Julia advances to the counter purchasing multiple penis shaped candies and vibrating objects. I am in the video section looking for something OTHER than like, "Ass delight part 2" that doesn't fill me with shame and nausea.

I FOUND A COWGIRL PORN! A classy one to satiate my raging newfound cowgirl fetish! So basically now i'm in the store screaming "Julia! Life is worth living! I found a cowgirl porn! I am healed!"

We go to the counter and I tell the guy "Hey! She's one of my most godly friends! I tricked her into going to Good Vibrations on a Gooooood Friday! Extra hell points for ME!!!" The guy starts cracking up laughing and says "Awww. I'll give you 10 percent off for being led astray. My first religious discount!"

Immediately two dildos flew off of the shelves behind me completely on their own. Some lady said "Looks like we've got a poltergeist" and I said "No that's just God smiting me."

So I figure there's no better way to descend into sin than going to the liquor store and buying a bunch of "Downhome Punch" to watch this cowgirl porn to and I tricked Julia into buying a bunch of cheap malt liquor. In the car, they both whimpered "What are we doing? God hates us!" and I yelled "OHHHH YEAAAH! Whooooo!!!! God made us to LOVE one another!"

So...um...i'm saddling up to some good times, i'll catch you up later.
quijybo:
hooray. every girl needs a vibrator.
Apr 18, 2003

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