Dyke Drama at the Butchies show last night. I ran into Franchesca, Natalie's best friend.

"Hey, what's up?" -Franchesca
"Nothing much. I'm a little drunk." -Me
"You still talk to Natalie?" -Franchesca
*In wildly drunken gestulations* "Fuck no! I never want to talk to that little bitch again. I hate her!" -Me
"Wow...someone's a little bitter." -Franchesca
"I have EVERY FUCKING RIGHT to be bitter! She's a horrible person and fucked in the head!" -Me
"Yeah...what she did to you was wrong and I always told her so. She just mentioned you a little while ago actually. She was like 'I had a good thing with her, why did I fuck her up like that'" -Franchesca
"Yes. Yes she was wrong. And I will always hate her because she cheated me out of the first girlfriend experience that everyone has when they're a lesbian. I should have had someone who was better to me than her. And the REALLY stupid thing was that I thought being treated badly was the only way I was going to be treated by anyone so I dealt with it. It took meeting someone really good after her to realize that wasn't right." -Me
"Oh, you're with someone? Where is she?" -Franchesca
"Well...she's in Texas at the moment..." -Me
"I see. You know, Karma gets Natalie back for these things. Nobody wants to date her anymore because they've all seen how she treats women." -Franchesca
"That and nobody wants to date her because she's HELLA FUCKING OBESE!" -Me, laughing really drunken laugh
"You were the one who slept with her, not me." -Franchesca
"WHY? WHY DID I SLEEP WITH HER? SHE HAD AN INVERTED NIPPLE! SHE HAS ONE FRANCHESCA! YOU ASK HER ABOUT HER INVERTED NIPPLE SOMETIME! SHE LOST IT IN THE WAR!" -Me
"Shit! She has an inverted nipple? Now i'm going to think about that every time I see her! What the fuck! Thanks for telling me!" -Franchesca
"That is my crest of shame that I bear...forever I will have to say I lost my virginity to someone that had an inverted nipple." -Me
"Was she good in bed at least?" -Franchesca
"FUCK NO! HAHAHA! I thought she was until I slept with somebody else who was way better. Now I see she wasn't good AT ALL!" -Me
"You know...you really shouldn't be talking shit about her this way. I would get mad if I knew my ex girlfriend was telling my best friend about my inverted nipple. That alcohol is making you bold." -Franchesca
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! I don't give A FUCK! Who the hell cares what she thinks? We're not friends, we're enemies. And i'll make that known." -Me
*Backing down* "Well...I guess you're right...and you know what? Whenever she gets drunk and spends the night at my house she tries to cuddle with me...and I shove her away because her body grosses me out." -Franchesca
"YES!!!!" -Me
"She always tells me to keep a look out for you in the city since we always run into each other at the same concerts. She wants to know how you're doing." -Franchesca
"You know what? Please don't tell her you ever saw me. And if you do tell her, then tell her I said for her not to call or email me with her bitch-ass apologies. I don't ever want to speak with her, ever again." -Me

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Natalie's best friend now knows she has an inverted nipple and is horrible in bed! This shall spread quickly! Already Franchesca's friend who was standing by her heard everything about Natalie and echoed everything I was saying. "What? She has an inverted nipple? What? She's bad in bed?"

HELL YEAH SMACKDOWN! If'n she isn't getting any women right now because her bad reputation has spread, imagine how much less of a chance she'll have of getting anyone after they hear that! Mwahahahahahahha.