Help me. My head is fully inserted up my own ass. The straightest, most religious friend I have asked me out on a date today, the whole time insisting she was not a lesbian.
"I really think the Bible is true and homosexuality is wrong, but I will never condemn a gay person, blah blah blah" -Angela
"Um...OK. Hey, I have to go to the bathroom." -Me **Gets up, goes to bathroom comes back 5 mins later**
"So...um, hey. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not. But...i'd like to take you out on a date." -Angela
"What? You like dates? Like the fruit? Huh? I'm sorry, I thought you said...well, never mind." -Me (confused)
"Well yeah. I want to take you out to dinner. You could pick the place. I'll pay for everything, just don't pick a romantic French restaurant, i'm poor." -Angela
"Umm...OK."
"Hey, i'm not a lesbian, OK? But...I just think if I was your girlfriend I could treat you a lot better than your last one. I'd be really good to you. You'd be so sprung you wouldn't even know what to do!!! I'd be sweet like Ghirardelli's, yo. I'm a Pentium 8 processor of love, and currently they can't even make Pentium 6's because they are just too hot." -Angela
"Haha, that's funny." -Me
**Continue having lunch, walking away later**
"So, are you going to call me or what?" -Angela
"Yeah, of course I will." -Me
"Ok...'cause...it's in your best interest. **Puts fist under my face and shakes in menacingly** Hahaha. No seriously, i'm not a lesbian, but I want to go on this date with you. And please don't lead me on if you don't like me, OK? I don't want to be like those people on Blind Date that say 'Wow, she's swell, I had a great time!' and the other girl just walks away muttering 'asshole' under her breath" -Angela
"Oh of course not, I am not a bitch from Blind Date, I promise. See you later." -Me
Ok, what the fuck just happened here. Five minutes ago she was saying that homosexuals are just not of God and then she wants to go on a date with me? You guys have no idea how cool she is; she asked some guy out a while ago and he rejected her, so she screamed "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE MISSING! I WOULD BE LIKE HONEY ON YOUR TONGUE! HONEY!!!!" and she out of nowhere thew a fistful of HONEY PACKETS at him!!!! lol. I have been attracted to her before just solely on her personality, but I don't want to get too attatched. She is moving to New York in like 2 weeks. On top of that, I don't want her to go on this date and then call me up afterwards saying "Sorry, i'm really straight." I don't think I could deal with having my heart broken like that anymore, it's the worst thing you can tell an enthusiastic dyke.
Color me confused. I don't know what's going on. I will go on this date with her, but i'm afraid of the consequences. At least she is a good friend of mine, i've known her for about a year, and I know she's a good person, not a psycho, but I don't want to be used as a sexuality measuring tool anymore. Someone please respond in my journal and tell me what the fuck to do, I am so confused right now! And on top of that, I have to move tomorrow...agh.
"I really think the Bible is true and homosexuality is wrong, but I will never condemn a gay person, blah blah blah" -Angela
"Um...OK. Hey, I have to go to the bathroom." -Me **Gets up, goes to bathroom comes back 5 mins later**
"So...um, hey. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not. But...i'd like to take you out on a date." -Angela
"What? You like dates? Like the fruit? Huh? I'm sorry, I thought you said...well, never mind." -Me (confused)
"Well yeah. I want to take you out to dinner. You could pick the place. I'll pay for everything, just don't pick a romantic French restaurant, i'm poor." -Angela
"Umm...OK."
"Hey, i'm not a lesbian, OK? But...I just think if I was your girlfriend I could treat you a lot better than your last one. I'd be really good to you. You'd be so sprung you wouldn't even know what to do!!! I'd be sweet like Ghirardelli's, yo. I'm a Pentium 8 processor of love, and currently they can't even make Pentium 6's because they are just too hot." -Angela
"Haha, that's funny." -Me
**Continue having lunch, walking away later**
"So, are you going to call me or what?" -Angela
"Yeah, of course I will." -Me
"Ok...'cause...it's in your best interest. **Puts fist under my face and shakes in menacingly** Hahaha. No seriously, i'm not a lesbian, but I want to go on this date with you. And please don't lead me on if you don't like me, OK? I don't want to be like those people on Blind Date that say 'Wow, she's swell, I had a great time!' and the other girl just walks away muttering 'asshole' under her breath" -Angela
"Oh of course not, I am not a bitch from Blind Date, I promise. See you later." -Me
Ok, what the fuck just happened here. Five minutes ago she was saying that homosexuals are just not of God and then she wants to go on a date with me? You guys have no idea how cool she is; she asked some guy out a while ago and he rejected her, so she screamed "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE MISSING! I WOULD BE LIKE HONEY ON YOUR TONGUE! HONEY!!!!" and she out of nowhere thew a fistful of HONEY PACKETS at him!!!! lol. I have been attracted to her before just solely on her personality, but I don't want to get too attatched. She is moving to New York in like 2 weeks. On top of that, I don't want her to go on this date and then call me up afterwards saying "Sorry, i'm really straight." I don't think I could deal with having my heart broken like that anymore, it's the worst thing you can tell an enthusiastic dyke.
Color me confused. I don't know what's going on. I will go on this date with her, but i'm afraid of the consequences. At least she is a good friend of mine, i've known her for about a year, and I know she's a good person, not a psycho, but I don't want to be used as a sexuality measuring tool anymore. Someone please respond in my journal and tell me what the fuck to do, I am so confused right now! And on top of that, I have to move tomorrow...agh.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
Here's what I say (I hope you haven't already gone out), go out on the "date" with her, but think of it as being no different than any other time you have hung out with her. Yep, she's confused, but her timing has got to be considered. Obviously, it is SAFE for her to ask you out since she is leaving for the other coast. She'll see what happens, and if it gets messy - she's gone, never having to worry about running in to you again. Pretty fuckin lame if you ask me. JUST DON'T GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED. Nothing romantic and permanant can come of this relationship. Oh, and by the way, screaming and throwing things at someone who rejects your offer of a date isn't really a sign of a stable person. Believe me, I know.