Morning sunshine. Wow, I slept forever, I went to the oxygen bar last night and downed some herbal cocktails. I also did 25 minutes of some scent that's supposed to make you feel sexy. It actually kind of worked, I sort of hit on this bartender that looked like the Hispanic version of Angelina Jolie but my gaydar was saying "All signs point to no." Then I went over to the DJ, who was INCREDIBLY cute, very spunky with bright, shiny blue eyes. I thought for sure she'd be a dyke but was telling me all about how her BF was spinning at another club that night...that is so cute, to see two DJ's dating. I hope someday when I go to the record shop i'll just miraculously run into a DJ Claudia clone and she'll happen to be looking for the record i'm listening to...wouldn't that be a story to tell at tupperware parties.
Fuck, I am incredibly bored right now. Photographer girl wants to go out for "a night of lechery" at a lesbian strip club by lesbos for lesbos and I think this is funny so i'm going. Right now I just want to escape and go to Telegraph Ave. in Berkley or something though, especially since i'm sure my work will call up before the "night of lechery" and force me to come to some stupid meeting...I MUST MAKE GOOD MY ESCAPE!
Updating...just ate b-fast, it was good. I am drinking hot chocolate right now. It's tasty. All of a sudden while eating my donut I started to get really lonely. I don't know why, it seemed like I was doing fine for a while. Something just reminded me of N and then I thought of the day we drove waaay over to half moon bay with sandwiches and fruit punch and had a picnic. She put a blue bandanna on my head, we made sandcastles and played in the water. I hate reliving that day, it's the one that always fucks me up when I think of it, it makes me really sad and empty. When you break up with someone there's always one specific date or instance or idiosyncracy that fucks you up, and this one is mine.
God I hate my life. There are seriously no lesbians in SF, i'm not just making this up here. Not any my own age anyway, they're all too young or too old, I think it's the cost of living here that drives out people my age. I go to every fucking volunteer event, dyke event, dyke club, or dyke cofeeshop trying to find someone with a soul and um, it's not working. Just about every lesbian in SF and the east bay knows me from my club. I hate this shit. I refuse to date anybody else from a club. I want substance, something that will at least last 6 months, and I don't want to be used as a toy by some girl trying to figure out her sexuality again, that blows the most. I've gotta get the fuck out of here.
Fuck, I am incredibly bored right now. Photographer girl wants to go out for "a night of lechery" at a lesbian strip club by lesbos for lesbos and I think this is funny so i'm going. Right now I just want to escape and go to Telegraph Ave. in Berkley or something though, especially since i'm sure my work will call up before the "night of lechery" and force me to come to some stupid meeting...I MUST MAKE GOOD MY ESCAPE!
Updating...just ate b-fast, it was good. I am drinking hot chocolate right now. It's tasty. All of a sudden while eating my donut I started to get really lonely. I don't know why, it seemed like I was doing fine for a while. Something just reminded me of N and then I thought of the day we drove waaay over to half moon bay with sandwiches and fruit punch and had a picnic. She put a blue bandanna on my head, we made sandcastles and played in the water. I hate reliving that day, it's the one that always fucks me up when I think of it, it makes me really sad and empty. When you break up with someone there's always one specific date or instance or idiosyncracy that fucks you up, and this one is mine.
God I hate my life. There are seriously no lesbians in SF, i'm not just making this up here. Not any my own age anyway, they're all too young or too old, I think it's the cost of living here that drives out people my age. I go to every fucking volunteer event, dyke event, dyke club, or dyke cofeeshop trying to find someone with a soul and um, it's not working. Just about every lesbian in SF and the east bay knows me from my club. I hate this shit. I refuse to date anybody else from a club. I want substance, something that will at least last 6 months, and I don't want to be used as a toy by some girl trying to figure out her sexuality again, that blows the most. I've gotta get the fuck out of here.
dia:
Head north. There's tons and tons of beautiful 20 year old lesbians in Sonoma County, esp. in like Guerneville and Sebastopol!!!! Also, there are two large colleges with very active lesbian scenes. I know tons and tons and tons of beautiful lesbians! Too bad I'm bi... and too shy to ever hit on girls anyway. They have to basically just grab me and kiss me or I don't even try. It's only like 40 mins from S.F. and is a little cheaper to live (not much, but some). I think maybe you'd like it up here.
s5:
!!! reading this makes me want to introduce you to every girl i know in sf who likes girls.