bionicfemme

Episode #8977890987: Girls gone tame, Bionic resistance against the war.

So I just performed the biggest disappearing act ever in SG history, lol. I went to Southern Cali for spring break and MAN did it suck ass.

First, I went with three of my friends that always act like old women, whom I will now refer to as the Golden Girls. We drove to Santa Barbara and ONLY after we got there did I find we would be staying in a mobile home. The Golden Girls did not want to do anything in sunny southern cali other than play MINIATURE GOLF. Um, fuck that shit. Yeah. I found a music store downtown one night and ran over to the flyers. "This is where the party will be." I said. I led us to a trendy cafe that had a group called "The Blow" playing a show there, they sounded like a combo of Ani DiFranco and Gravy Train. Frightening, yes. But fun, yes! One of the Golden Girls whined that she did not like this "club." The "club" was a coffee shop with 30 people dancing in it. Anyway, the Golden Girls annoy me primarily because they are goody goodies that make me feel like a giant slutbag whore. All I have to do is say the word "pussy" or name one time I had sex A YEAR AGO and they all scream and cover their ears going into convulsions. Jesus. Sex is a part of life.

I kept sending erotic text messages to Grrlhavoc for the entire trip. She mocked the Golden Girls. "Hi, we're losers, we've never had sex before and we like to stay at home and play monopoly! Wheeee!" She said. The Golden Girls gave me my own room in the mobile home because they know I am the most outlandish and provocative of the bunch. They did well to make that decision, as I had phone sex with Grrlhavoc half the time I was there to pass the day away. The relative of one of the Golden Girls that usually looks after the mobile home took it upon herself one night to stay there without telling us first, took all of my shit in her room and dumped it out in the living room. At first I was really, really pissed, seeing as how I spent that whole day in Disneyland and wanted a good night sleep.

Then I remembered that I whacked off all over the sheets she was sleeping in and felt much, much better.

The day we were in Disneyland, war broke out. I told GrrlhavocI felt like we were living in an apocalyptic love story.

The next day after we came home, I was riding the bus to downtown SF and the bus dumped me off in the ghettos somewhere because of the massive anti-war protests. I walked like a mile to the Civic Center and joined the protest. Police came out of a van and defended city hall, leering at the crowd with riot gear and nightsticks.

I will admit, I was a little afraid. I didn't know if they were for the crowd or against it, they looked so threatening and pissed off.

So I picked up my shit and joined the Filipinos Against Global Violence. We marched up Market Street yelling things like "Move Bush! Get out the way! Get out the way Bush! Get out the way!" The protestors screamed louder, chanting over and over "Get out the way! Get out the way! GET OUT THE WAY!" taking over the streets. The Filipinos then began to scream "Mabu-mabu-mabu! Hay-Hay-Hay!" (Mabuhay is an expression that means hello, goodbye, or hooray. I assume they meant Hooray.) Later a girl with a voice much like Hanin Elias from Atari Teenage Riot roared "Stop this war! Stop this WAR!" through the megaphone. Lesbians held a banner saying "War: how can 5 white men be wrong?" I was proud to see my bold Filipino brothers and sister be brazen, completely defeating the meek, salamat-po stereotype of servitude and "me love you long time." They kicked major ass, and showed that through centuries of slavery and occupation, we are still fierce descendants of Lapu-Lapu with a voice. My mom was proud that I marched with them.

The protestors' marching blocked off three buses. I passed them, and saw the overworked and overheated driver and passengers glare at us through the windows. Many of the protestors blew them kisses and threw up peace signs. I felt guilty, but I thought our protesting was a worthy cause and I believe no protest is effective unless it causes nonviolent disruption. I was affected by the protesting too, you know? But I was willing to walk 3+ miles that day because I believe in what we are fighting for.

There were VENDORS at the protest selling souvenirs. Ridiculous. I wanted to go up to one and say "Hey there mister, how much is that anti-capitalism t-shirt again?"

In the midst of the protesting, I was raising my fist and shouting "The people united will never be defeated!" A guy with completely gold teeth came out of nowhere and asked for my number. I walked 2 feet away and raised my fist up higher, screaming harder so he couldn't yell over me. He started throwing a tantrum and calling me a bitch. Grrlhavoc text messaged me to be careful. I told her that nothing stops a Bionic Aries.

Towards the end of the protest, police swept through the streets yelling out of their megaphones, "If you are on the streets, you will be arrested!" I dashed into the underground metro for refuge and rode to the Castro.

My dad has delusions of grandeur and cannot stop comparing himself to Benjamin Franklin. He told me a few months ago, "You and I have no time for petty things like love. Don't you see? We were made for bigger things. Like saving this world." And then he said, "If you always fight for what is right, you will be ok."

I think he would have been proud of his radical feminist daughter screaming and raising her fist in the streets of San Francisco. I was two seconds away from ripping off my shirt in rebellion to the Fascist Patriarchy.

Daphne Gottlieb, punk rock feminist poet Extraordinaire sent out a poem about the protest. Now is the time for me to fight and use my gift with a pen to do something, but I am having writer's block.

I really do want to save this world.