I'm SO hungry. I think I have to leave immediately and find food. I have a huge craving for tofu, but can't seem to find any...
My friend Alyson just called. You don't understand, she's the perfect woman. She's this beautiful, dreamy poet that is such a good listener, she's funny and she's very mature...she just graduated this year. We got to be friends when I was dating N and she was there to give me the strength to leave her and go on after the break-up. Problem is, while I was dating N, I fell for Alyson and wanted to just leave N for this genuine, beautiful girl who really cared about me for me, but Alyson had already started dating this girl Celeste and now they're very much in love. They've already moved in together. I'm happy for them and they're both good friends of mine, but I still can't bear to see them kiss in front of me, it hurts too much. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom or something so they won't notice the effect it has on me. Celeste is so lucky to have her...they make such a good couple. I don't know...I was having a convo with Tatum last night and I was saying that maybe I should just not date anybody for a really long time, i'm not ready to have my heart broken again, and I should probably just chill and let all the wounds heal that N inflicted. That girl really did a number on me.
I was happy to talk to Tatum last night, she is a breath of fresh air in our world. She reminds me that innocence and light still abound in such a dark place.
I don't know...I don't need love, right? I can just pretend to not care and go on with my life. Yeah, that's the ticket. Don't want what you can't fucking have. Desire causes all suffering. I just can't stop the pain sometimes, it makes me feel worn out and tired. The only cure for this is a pint of Ben and Jerry's, I think I will have THAT for breakfast instead of stuff that is healthy. Ok, time to run off, I need ice cream! Ah, Cherry Garcia...the taste of sweet frozen sex on my tongue.
My friend Alyson just called. You don't understand, she's the perfect woman. She's this beautiful, dreamy poet that is such a good listener, she's funny and she's very mature...she just graduated this year. We got to be friends when I was dating N and she was there to give me the strength to leave her and go on after the break-up. Problem is, while I was dating N, I fell for Alyson and wanted to just leave N for this genuine, beautiful girl who really cared about me for me, but Alyson had already started dating this girl Celeste and now they're very much in love. They've already moved in together. I'm happy for them and they're both good friends of mine, but I still can't bear to see them kiss in front of me, it hurts too much. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom or something so they won't notice the effect it has on me. Celeste is so lucky to have her...they make such a good couple. I don't know...I was having a convo with Tatum last night and I was saying that maybe I should just not date anybody for a really long time, i'm not ready to have my heart broken again, and I should probably just chill and let all the wounds heal that N inflicted. That girl really did a number on me.
I was happy to talk to Tatum last night, she is a breath of fresh air in our world. She reminds me that innocence and light still abound in such a dark place.
I don't know...I don't need love, right? I can just pretend to not care and go on with my life. Yeah, that's the ticket. Don't want what you can't fucking have. Desire causes all suffering. I just can't stop the pain sometimes, it makes me feel worn out and tired. The only cure for this is a pint of Ben and Jerry's, I think I will have THAT for breakfast instead of stuff that is healthy. Ok, time to run off, I need ice cream! Ah, Cherry Garcia...the taste of sweet frozen sex on my tongue.
I wish I had some good advice as to what to do. Do you think Alyson has any idea as to your feelings. As hard as it may be you might need to explain your feelings to her. Keeping that type of thing bottled up never seems to work out that well. It is not going to be fun being friends, for you or her, if you are silently carrying that around with you. Eloquence is clearly your strong suit so I bet you can express your feelings in a tatctful and honest way that will still preserve the comfort between the two of you.
And I totally feel you on the cherry garcia thing. That has been the one thing I miss in cutting diary out of my diet. I found a non-dairy soy version of it yesterday and I just fainted from ecstasy of it.
I wish I could tell Alyson...but I don't want to confuse her or interfere with her relationship with Celeste-- WHOA she just called me right now! LOL. Ok i'm off the phone. I think maybe she has a small inkling of how I feel, but we both know it wouldn't be right to act on it. I don't play dirty, I don't go after women who are taken, so I guess i'll just move on, which sucks.
Hmm...I don't know, maybe I should just stop analyzing everything and just go do something today...i'm thinking about going shopping and buying a Cibo Matto CD. Oh, and thank you for calling me poetic and romantic, i'm glad somebody thinks I am, lol.