Happy C-Day part 2.
OK, I think I am ready...too bad I am having the worst hair day in the history of my life. I tried using obscene amounts of hairspray, etc to rectify the situation but alas, I am just going to be forced to look like Charlie Brown today. **Sigh.** She was even like, "Oh don't worry, i'm not going to look all amazing, i've been driving for all these hours...actually no, I lied, I probably will look amazing, something something something" lol. Ah, nothing could make that girl look bad. She could get into a horrific accident involving 1,000 barrels of nuclear waste being hurled at her and she would still come out looking like a goddess.
I am eating bacon to calm my nerves. I am 75% vegetarian, meaning I usually only eat veggies or light meats like fish and chicken (even then on occasion) but bacon is my downfall...I love it, I love it burned, and women who eat it burned are 3 times more likely to get breast cancer. Sucks to be me.
It was funny, when I was on the phone with Tanya last night, I busted out this plastic ocarina that I bought on Haight street for a dollar and composed a song about Claudia. It went "Doo-looo-loo-looo-looooo...doo-doo-doo"
She says I will make millions as an ocarina rock star. We also had this lengthy convo about how she now believes she's bi...I was like "Y'know...if you ever need a substitute for your dumbass baby daddy..." she says maybe someday she will make out with me when she gets good and drunk. Um, is this a compliment?
I always feel like the dad around her and her baby. When I went home to visit them last month, she bought this breast pump because she couldn't feed her baby properly, but she didn't know how to assemble it. So I show up wearing a tie and she's like "I need this breast pump assembled, stat!!" and i'm all "I'm on it, chief." Imagine that. Wearing a tie and assembling a breast pump. That made me feel like a real man. Too bad she isn't gay. I'd take really good care of her.
But now...back to the pomp and circumstance for Claudia's arrival!
OK, I think I am ready...too bad I am having the worst hair day in the history of my life. I tried using obscene amounts of hairspray, etc to rectify the situation but alas, I am just going to be forced to look like Charlie Brown today. **Sigh.** She was even like, "Oh don't worry, i'm not going to look all amazing, i've been driving for all these hours...actually no, I lied, I probably will look amazing, something something something" lol. Ah, nothing could make that girl look bad. She could get into a horrific accident involving 1,000 barrels of nuclear waste being hurled at her and she would still come out looking like a goddess.
I am eating bacon to calm my nerves. I am 75% vegetarian, meaning I usually only eat veggies or light meats like fish and chicken (even then on occasion) but bacon is my downfall...I love it, I love it burned, and women who eat it burned are 3 times more likely to get breast cancer. Sucks to be me.
It was funny, when I was on the phone with Tanya last night, I busted out this plastic ocarina that I bought on Haight street for a dollar and composed a song about Claudia. It went "Doo-looo-loo-looo-looooo...doo-doo-doo"
She says I will make millions as an ocarina rock star. We also had this lengthy convo about how she now believes she's bi...I was like "Y'know...if you ever need a substitute for your dumbass baby daddy..." she says maybe someday she will make out with me when she gets good and drunk. Um, is this a compliment?
I always feel like the dad around her and her baby. When I went home to visit them last month, she bought this breast pump because she couldn't feed her baby properly, but she didn't know how to assemble it. So I show up wearing a tie and she's like "I need this breast pump assembled, stat!!" and i'm all "I'm on it, chief." Imagine that. Wearing a tie and assembling a breast pump. That made me feel like a real man. Too bad she isn't gay. I'd take really good care of her.
But now...back to the pomp and circumstance for Claudia's arrival!
hybrid_:
Bacon calms the nerves? WoW! My brother is a bacon lover too, not me.