Yesterday my dad showed up and we went for a drive along the beach and ran across a weird restaurant in San Mateo called, "Porridge King." We ate there just because it looked funny. Actually he ate there and I brought some Pizza Hut into the restaurant, which I think pissed them off but oh well.
The beach was so beautiful that day. And as stupid as it was, I got extremely sad because the last time I was there was with Natalie.
It's really hard right now. My dad is being so nice and i'm starting to become attached to him, which will make things harder when he dies. It's so easy to hate someone, and so much harder to love them.
Honestly, I am very sad about my dad being ill right now, and I haven't been this lonely in a long time. I wish, just once more in my life, that I could fall asleep next to someone again, wake up to them in the mornings.
"Oh you don't want that crap. You don't want to wake up next to anyone with stank breath." -My mom.
My friends have been coming through lately and they make me feel a lot better. Actually, what's weird is that Josie seems to be hitting on me a lot lately. She told me some guy in the building saw me and told her I was "really hot" and she told him I was gay. Then he said, "Oh I don't believe that, how gay is she?" and Josie says, "Dude, she's gayer than me and another gay woman combined!" Then he says, "Why don't you go for her?" and Josie says, "She isn't my type." And then he says "FUCK YOU, MAN! You had this hot ass chick that liked you and you won't take her? Lesbians. Fuck off!" and he was all pissed.
So last night I was outside the building at 12am with a hula hoop looking at the moon and Josie came outside and told me all this. Then she kept saying I looked good and she took the hula hoop and took it so it was around her and pulled me up closer to her. "We're in the circle now. You can't escape me." She said, and she just smiled. I kinda looked away because I was blushing and it felt awkward. And she's been calling me a lot now, and she hasn't called me since I moved in here.
Who knows. All I know is that she's so upset about how hard it is to date dykes in SF that she's been trying to hit on men lately, which upsets me because I know she really loves women and she shouldn't give up. And I would be really nice to her and I think we would click perfectly, we're already really good as friends. I just don't think she's attracted to me though. But she flirts with me and then says i'm not her type? I don't know.
If I was a big, buff athlete dyke or a straight man, or even a gay man, everything would be so much easier.
The beach was so beautiful that day. And as stupid as it was, I got extremely sad because the last time I was there was with Natalie.
It's really hard right now. My dad is being so nice and i'm starting to become attached to him, which will make things harder when he dies. It's so easy to hate someone, and so much harder to love them.
Honestly, I am very sad about my dad being ill right now, and I haven't been this lonely in a long time. I wish, just once more in my life, that I could fall asleep next to someone again, wake up to them in the mornings.
"Oh you don't want that crap. You don't want to wake up next to anyone with stank breath." -My mom.
My friends have been coming through lately and they make me feel a lot better. Actually, what's weird is that Josie seems to be hitting on me a lot lately. She told me some guy in the building saw me and told her I was "really hot" and she told him I was gay. Then he said, "Oh I don't believe that, how gay is she?" and Josie says, "Dude, she's gayer than me and another gay woman combined!" Then he says, "Why don't you go for her?" and Josie says, "She isn't my type." And then he says "FUCK YOU, MAN! You had this hot ass chick that liked you and you won't take her? Lesbians. Fuck off!" and he was all pissed.
So last night I was outside the building at 12am with a hula hoop looking at the moon and Josie came outside and told me all this. Then she kept saying I looked good and she took the hula hoop and took it so it was around her and pulled me up closer to her. "We're in the circle now. You can't escape me." She said, and she just smiled. I kinda looked away because I was blushing and it felt awkward. And she's been calling me a lot now, and she hasn't called me since I moved in here.
Who knows. All I know is that she's so upset about how hard it is to date dykes in SF that she's been trying to hit on men lately, which upsets me because I know she really loves women and she shouldn't give up. And I would be really nice to her and I think we would click perfectly, we're already really good as friends. I just don't think she's attracted to me though. But she flirts with me and then says i'm not her type? I don't know.
If I was a big, buff athlete dyke or a straight man, or even a gay man, everything would be so much easier.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
grrlhavoc:
hey im in the SG chatroom....im not talking tho..i dont know anyone in here...where are u?
grrlhavoc:
it is a dumb movie....that Dump him is a pic of my fav t-shirt i got a t a thrift store here