Caption 3: I'm too lazy to think up a new one, so i'll just be coy.
So this is how I came out to my dad.
"Blah blah WWII blah" -My dad
"Dad, it really bothers me that you always talk about people getting blown up, etc and start crying about it every time we talk. You never really listen to what I have to say or respect me as a person, you just care about what you want to say." -Me
"Well, that's because what I have to say is more important than anything you have to say, and you should listen to me." -My dad
"Oh, you'd like to know important? I'VE BEEN GAY FOR NEARLY 2 YEARS!!!! The last time I talked about my ex "boyfriend" Nate, I really meant Natalie! Nate is a woman!!! I said "she" instead of "he" several times!"-Me
"Oh...I must not have been listening closely." -My dad
"Apparently not!" -Me
"You aren't gay, you're bisexual." -My dad
"Men make me want to vomit when they touch me." -Me
"it's just the way they approach you." -My dad
"NO! I'VE BEEN DATING WOMEN FOR TWO YEARS NOW AND I KNOW THIS IS WHAT I WANT!" -Me
"Well...I thought you were making yourself look unattractive so men wouldn't want you, with that short hair and nose ring." -My dad
"That makes no sense, I get more men asking me for my number now than I did before." -Me
"It's not right for you to make them want you and then reject them like that." -Him
"I DON'T MAKE THEM DO ANYTHING!" -Me
"Besides, women are gay because they can't get men. It's just like how men in jail have sex with each other because they can't get anything else. And most gay women are mentally ill. You don't have either of those problems." -My dad
"Oh my God, those are horrible stereotypes and none of them are true!" -Me
"...I'm sorry you're gay." -My dad
"Well, i'm not sorry at all, I love women. And since we have a problem talking about what we have in common, maybe we can talk about women since we have the same taste. Natalie was half Filipino too." -Me
"BAH HA HA!" -My dad
Well, at least he quit calling me 500 times a day.
Anyway, I met a chick, Tatjana, from online yesterday and we had coffee. We literally cracked the FUCK up and talked for several hours. Both of us swapped stories about insane women we've dated and had a good laugh. One girl she dated took her to the Folsom St. Fair on their third date and said, "Hey babe, I haven't taken you to the whippin' booth yet!" And Tatjana said "OH MY GOD YOU WANTED TO WHIP ME??? WHIP ME??? THIS IS OUR THIRD DATE!!!"
We definitely have the same sense of humor and she invited me to go see a show with her this weekend. She's not someone who would initially be my type, but is so hilarious that it makes her VERY attractive. Both of us have said that we've been burned hardcore by dating and want to take things one day at a time, so I think we're going to try to build a friendship first. This is good, because i'm not prepared to rush headfirst into anything anymore.
On the way home, she said in the car, "Religion is the opiate of the masses" and I said "DUDE YOU JUST QUOTED KARL MARX! THAT'S FROM THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO!" and we hugged each other out of sheer joy. WHOOPAH!
Anyway, thanx to all who voted for me on that thing on the boards, thank you for representin' yo!
So this is how I came out to my dad.
"Blah blah WWII blah" -My dad
"Dad, it really bothers me that you always talk about people getting blown up, etc and start crying about it every time we talk. You never really listen to what I have to say or respect me as a person, you just care about what you want to say." -Me
"Well, that's because what I have to say is more important than anything you have to say, and you should listen to me." -My dad
"Oh, you'd like to know important? I'VE BEEN GAY FOR NEARLY 2 YEARS!!!! The last time I talked about my ex "boyfriend" Nate, I really meant Natalie! Nate is a woman!!! I said "she" instead of "he" several times!"-Me
"Oh...I must not have been listening closely." -My dad
"Apparently not!" -Me
"You aren't gay, you're bisexual." -My dad
"Men make me want to vomit when they touch me." -Me
"it's just the way they approach you." -My dad
"NO! I'VE BEEN DATING WOMEN FOR TWO YEARS NOW AND I KNOW THIS IS WHAT I WANT!" -Me
"Well...I thought you were making yourself look unattractive so men wouldn't want you, with that short hair and nose ring." -My dad
"That makes no sense, I get more men asking me for my number now than I did before." -Me
"It's not right for you to make them want you and then reject them like that." -Him
"I DON'T MAKE THEM DO ANYTHING!" -Me
"Besides, women are gay because they can't get men. It's just like how men in jail have sex with each other because they can't get anything else. And most gay women are mentally ill. You don't have either of those problems." -My dad
"Oh my God, those are horrible stereotypes and none of them are true!" -Me
"...I'm sorry you're gay." -My dad
"Well, i'm not sorry at all, I love women. And since we have a problem talking about what we have in common, maybe we can talk about women since we have the same taste. Natalie was half Filipino too." -Me
"BAH HA HA!" -My dad
Well, at least he quit calling me 500 times a day.
Anyway, I met a chick, Tatjana, from online yesterday and we had coffee. We literally cracked the FUCK up and talked for several hours. Both of us swapped stories about insane women we've dated and had a good laugh. One girl she dated took her to the Folsom St. Fair on their third date and said, "Hey babe, I haven't taken you to the whippin' booth yet!" And Tatjana said "OH MY GOD YOU WANTED TO WHIP ME??? WHIP ME??? THIS IS OUR THIRD DATE!!!"
We definitely have the same sense of humor and she invited me to go see a show with her this weekend. She's not someone who would initially be my type, but is so hilarious that it makes her VERY attractive. Both of us have said that we've been burned hardcore by dating and want to take things one day at a time, so I think we're going to try to build a friendship first. This is good, because i'm not prepared to rush headfirst into anything anymore.
On the way home, she said in the car, "Religion is the opiate of the masses" and I said "DUDE YOU JUST QUOTED KARL MARX! THAT'S FROM THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO!" and we hugged each other out of sheer joy. WHOOPAH!
Anyway, thanx to all who voted for me on that thing on the boards, thank you for representin' yo!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
In any case, she seems like a really cool person! I think I just want to be alone for a while, until I figure out what to do.