Wow...I am still locked in battle with my ex. Now, we're having an online email war, but she never comes close to matching my wit...my favorite slam so far?
How many women like you does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; you're too busy screwing other women.
My best friend thinks this is hilarious.
HahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I have gone completely insane. The only cure will be to get in a nice outfit and head for an uncharted coffeeshop across town. The pain she has caused me has now turned into sheer rage, and I am on an all out offensive like the Aries girl I am. I am a sweet girl, but once I get to butting heads, it's time to get the fuck out of my way. Already I have annihilated her pompous ego beyond recognition.
Not only do I become the most fearsome femme this side of the bay, but I kick ass at DOOM; I simply put it on its most difficult setting and more often than not blast five imps in their foreheads in under two seconds. Or I select God Mode and slay thousands with a pixilated chainsaw. I am probably a secret test subject created by the government. They probably said, "Let us create one with the adrenaline count of 15 men and see how she does in battle; we will conduct tests by having her date assholes doused with our "stupidity gas" and see if her reaction is fit for the battlefield. If her count reaches optimum capacity, we will deploy her to our heaviest skirmishes. If not, we will test her to see how many assholes it takes to make her go insane, to see if this drug will be fit to augment additional individuals."
Yes, I am a product of biological engineering, living in my very own psychological thriller.
How many women like you does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; you're too busy screwing other women.
My best friend thinks this is hilarious.
HahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I have gone completely insane. The only cure will be to get in a nice outfit and head for an uncharted coffeeshop across town. The pain she has caused me has now turned into sheer rage, and I am on an all out offensive like the Aries girl I am. I am a sweet girl, but once I get to butting heads, it's time to get the fuck out of my way. Already I have annihilated her pompous ego beyond recognition.
Not only do I become the most fearsome femme this side of the bay, but I kick ass at DOOM; I simply put it on its most difficult setting and more often than not blast five imps in their foreheads in under two seconds. Or I select God Mode and slay thousands with a pixilated chainsaw. I am probably a secret test subject created by the government. They probably said, "Let us create one with the adrenaline count of 15 men and see how she does in battle; we will conduct tests by having her date assholes doused with our "stupidity gas" and see if her reaction is fit for the battlefield. If her count reaches optimum capacity, we will deploy her to our heaviest skirmishes. If not, we will test her to see how many assholes it takes to make her go insane, to see if this drug will be fit to augment additional individuals."
Yes, I am a product of biological engineering, living in my very own psychological thriller.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
**Blushing because i'm an Asian schoolgirl** Thank you for your compliment, Claudia. It's made my life approx. 10,000% better. Those are actual statistics.
A girl flaked on you??? How could that possibly be? I don't understand how that could happen. You're the hottest girl in the world AND apparently the smartest. Her loss. That's sweet that Lane hung out with you. I would have never flaked on you; I would have showed up and brought you rhinestone tiara from Haight Street as The Empress of the World Award.
So you want to be a superhero too? What is your name and your powers? I am the Bionic Femme, with the powers of incredulous amounts of adrenaline and the sultry power of techno-erotica (I karate chop people while dancing in a sexy manner to house music.)