STREETFIGHT!!!
Your Bionicfemme is learning to roar.
I was at my favorite cafe today and started a STREETFIGHT! A crazy man came in with a dog that was not on a leash. The dog proceeded to bite one girl in the ankle and run behind the counter, bothering my friend the Barista. Everyone at the cafe was angry at the crazy dog man and he would just laugh at them. That is, until the dog tried to pounce on me and snapped at me three times.
"GET YOUR FUCKING DOG AWAY FROM ME!" -Me
"Someone's not an animal lover." -Crazy man
"Listen, i'm cool with animals. But you need to put that dog on a leash." -Me
"Well what do you expect? She's only three months old!" -Crazy man
"Well, maybe I was attacked by a dog before." -Me
"You need prozac." -Crazy man
"Shut up." -Me
"Prozac." -Crazy man
"I said, Shut up." -me
"Prozac." -Crazy man
"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP YA PIECE OF SHIT!!!!" -Me, yell-roaring
I squared my shoulders and was wearing 500 pound New Rocks and was ready to kick the shit out of this loser a la Lola vs. Donkey.
At this point, two men in line defend me and start yelling at the guy. "Your fucking dog attacked that lady! You need to put it on a leash!" They yell. The crazy man yells at all of them and they threaten to beat him up. I go up to one of them and say, "Thanks for defending me. Right on, bro." One of them worked at the grocery store across the street and said that was no way to talk to a lady (me) and that he was going to beat the crap out of this loser. So both guys step outside and start fighting with the crazy guy. Then the crazy guy PICKS UP HIS DOG BY ITS HIND LEGS AND RUNS DOWN THE STREET AND THE DOG IS YELPING BECAUSE HE'S BREAKING THEM!!!!!
So then some neo-hippie-skater kids that are usually fun loving run outside of the store and yell "Put the dog down ya fuckin' psycho! You're hurting it!" So now five hippies are chasing the man, two chivalrous men are chasing the man, and the the POLICE show up and they're chasing the man! And everybody in the cafe is telling the police that the dog "attacked" me!
These punks in the cafe yelled "Dude, the cops!" and I yell back "I HOPE THE BAD MAN GOES TO JAAAAAAIIIIIL" and start doing a jig. Then my friend the barista and I crack the fuck up because we can't believe I started a streetfight over something so stupid.
But my thanks goes out to those two gallant men who fought for me. I think there is a little bit of Bionicfemme in everyone, and I get so happy when it shows.
I have been thinking, all today, about the wonderful people I have as friends, and the wonderful people who show me their kindness randomly. I love them.
I want you all to know that i'm giving you a mental blow job right as we speak as thanks, mes amores.
AND MY ARTICLE IS OUT! YESSSS!
Your Bionicfemme is learning to roar.
I was at my favorite cafe today and started a STREETFIGHT! A crazy man came in with a dog that was not on a leash. The dog proceeded to bite one girl in the ankle and run behind the counter, bothering my friend the Barista. Everyone at the cafe was angry at the crazy dog man and he would just laugh at them. That is, until the dog tried to pounce on me and snapped at me three times.
"GET YOUR FUCKING DOG AWAY FROM ME!" -Me
"Someone's not an animal lover." -Crazy man
"Listen, i'm cool with animals. But you need to put that dog on a leash." -Me
"Well what do you expect? She's only three months old!" -Crazy man
"Well, maybe I was attacked by a dog before." -Me
"You need prozac." -Crazy man
"Shut up." -Me
"Prozac." -Crazy man
"I said, Shut up." -me
"Prozac." -Crazy man
"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP YA PIECE OF SHIT!!!!" -Me, yell-roaring
I squared my shoulders and was wearing 500 pound New Rocks and was ready to kick the shit out of this loser a la Lola vs. Donkey.
At this point, two men in line defend me and start yelling at the guy. "Your fucking dog attacked that lady! You need to put it on a leash!" They yell. The crazy man yells at all of them and they threaten to beat him up. I go up to one of them and say, "Thanks for defending me. Right on, bro." One of them worked at the grocery store across the street and said that was no way to talk to a lady (me) and that he was going to beat the crap out of this loser. So both guys step outside and start fighting with the crazy guy. Then the crazy guy PICKS UP HIS DOG BY ITS HIND LEGS AND RUNS DOWN THE STREET AND THE DOG IS YELPING BECAUSE HE'S BREAKING THEM!!!!!
So then some neo-hippie-skater kids that are usually fun loving run outside of the store and yell "Put the dog down ya fuckin' psycho! You're hurting it!" So now five hippies are chasing the man, two chivalrous men are chasing the man, and the the POLICE show up and they're chasing the man! And everybody in the cafe is telling the police that the dog "attacked" me!
These punks in the cafe yelled "Dude, the cops!" and I yell back "I HOPE THE BAD MAN GOES TO JAAAAAAIIIIIL" and start doing a jig. Then my friend the barista and I crack the fuck up because we can't believe I started a streetfight over something so stupid.
But my thanks goes out to those two gallant men who fought for me. I think there is a little bit of Bionicfemme in everyone, and I get so happy when it shows.
I have been thinking, all today, about the wonderful people I have as friends, and the wonderful people who show me their kindness randomly. I love them.
I want you all to know that i'm giving you a mental blow job right as we speak as thanks, mes amores.
AND MY ARTICLE IS OUT! YESSSS!
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
melissa2:
what a nice crazy man.......fucker......
prettyb0y:
I knew you were really Chun Li in disguise. I knew it! I bet you Seneshu-ed his ass, and are just not admitting it.