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bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

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Saturday Jan 11, 2003

Jan 11, 2003
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So I think I should explain why i've been a flaming bitch lately.

You see, I saw Natalie the other day. She invited me to lunch. I sat down and started talking about Unbornbloom and then Natalie realized that she knew Unbormbloom's ex girlfriend because Natalie's girlfriend worked at the same piercing shop as Bloom's ex. This further supports my theory that there are only 10 les/bi girls in California. I mean, Bloom's ex lives 1 hour away from me and 2 hours away from Natalie! WHAT THE HELL?

So, seeing a bunch of pieces to form a neat little trap, Natalie told me that everybody at the piercing shop really knew that Bloom was still seeing her ex and still loved her. She even looked at me and seeing me upset said, "I'm really sorry to bring the bad news, I am." and was smiling the whole time. And she laughed at me and said she felt sorry for me. Then she promised to call the next day to "see how I was doing." You know, to "comfort" me. Well, she never called.

So this caused a big commotion between me and Bloom and I had no reason to believe anything that came out of Natalie's mouth. I was an idiot. She obviously said that to shake our foundation. And I never expected that out of Natalie. I felt that she had grown up since we first dated and that she wasn't capable of such a malicious thing. I mean, I would never try to ruin her relationship with her girlfriend through catty instigation like that.

I was just afraid that it was true. I like Bloom so much and i'm used to everybody cheating on me with their exes. The exact same thing has happened to me over and over again. And I always let Natalie ruin my life. I told Bloom I felt Natalie was a Batman villain, like the fucking Joker, always escaping with smoke bombs and returning to wreak further havoc.. That she always came in bad horror movie sequels, that I felt like I was living in Natalie Part XXXVIIII.

I decided, last night, not to let her ruin my life anymore. I realized that exactly one week from now, it will have been an entire year since I met her. And that I have spent this whole year degenerating into half of the woman I was before.

So I wrote her an email, and said that I don't want to talk to her anymore because I want to build a new future with Bloom and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. That we couldn't even be friends. That I was saying goodbye forever and to say any last words now.

And she said, "Well, I guess everybody needs to make sacrifices. Take care, heartbreaker."

Disappointing for last words. And I am not a fucking heartbreaker.

I want to start off new with Bloom. Starting today. Without fear.

When I was confused and sad about the whole thing, Bloom said she would take care of me now. And that she didn't want to hurt me like everyone else.

Nobody's told me that before. I...like it. And I like the girl who said it very much.

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
melissa2:
Sux about the ex stuff....but you and UnbornBloom seem happy, from what I've read in your journals. Happy happy, Joy Joy.
Jan 12, 2003
prettyb0y:
People, including those who love us, will always effect us negatively, now and then. Sometimes, it's a type of negative that makes us stronger and sometimes weaker.
Which did this do for you?

It sounds to me that this Nat-A-Lie is weak, and instead of building herself up, she brings people down to her level. You are so right about never seeing that Nat loser, again. Bloom's the type to build you up. Sometimes positively, sometimes negatively, but up. Bloom so loves you.
Jan 12, 2003

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