Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

Followers 82 Following 46

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Friday Jan 10, 2003

Jan 9, 2003
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
I said, God, give me an answer, or let me die.

and you said, Write.

Now.

God, there are so many voices that I have to scream above them all to drown out the cursing.

And each time I look at her, all I can think is that everything I believed in was a lie. A lie. I fell in love with someone who did not love me. Ever. A lie.

A hissing lie.
A sick, hissing lie
told to a sick, hissing girl
by a sick, hissing woman

And I am pregnant with sin and hate.
Abort the sin.
Abort the self.

Her truth burns like holy water splashed hot-cold against my eyelids;
I shield myself with newspapers from unfolding Hiroshimas
Time and time again.

It hurts to know that I will die like this.
That all doors are closed before I reach them,
that everyone is in love with their ex girlfriends and I can ironically never be an ex-girlfriend,

just a girlfriend who isnt worth loving.

I burn with wrath and I wish I could be so
beautiful and powerful,
that I could twist knives and get off
like chewing gum and walking.

I would have a reason, then,
to atone for the sins I never committed.

All the myths and legends are slipping away;

I think its sexual, sometimes,
to sit in front of a mirror and watch myself finger

Open bulletholes and wounds.
unbornbloom:
You are beautiful.
You are powerful.
You dont need to get off on twisting knives to be either.
This is one of the things that I love so much about you.
xo.
-me
Jan 9, 2003
catculus:
catlove!
miao!!
Jan 10, 2003

More Blogs

  • 04.13.03
    4

    Sunday Apr 13, 2003

    Dyke Drama at the Butchies show last night. I ran into Franchesca, Na…
  • 04.12.03
    2

    Saturday Apr 12, 2003

    I volunteered at the homeless art shelter again yesterday. I met the …
  • 04.11.03
    3

    Friday Apr 11, 2003

    So I went to a Michelle Tea reading last night and it was just awesom…
  • 04.10.03
    11

    Thursday Apr 10, 2003

    Things that make me horny: Grrlhavoc's naked body-makes me horny …
  • 04.10.03
    5

    Thursday Apr 10, 2003

    Gah! High School flashbacks when I woke up this morning. What were yo…
  • 04.09.03
    5

    Wednesday Apr 09, 2003

    Suburban Matriarchy (Dedicated to all the lesbians in Houston) I'…
  • 04.09.03
    2

    Wednesday Apr 09, 2003

    Dawn. I have been thinking a lot, lately, about how I have to leav…
  • 04.07.03
    23

    Tuesday Apr 08, 2003

    I AM 21 TODAY MOTHERFUCKERS! I WENT CLUBBING AT 12AM TO CELEBRATE MY …
  • 04.06.03
    19

    Sunday Apr 06, 2003

    THIS JOURNAL ENTRY HAS LESBIAN SEX IN IT! It's long, so...there's you…
  • 04.03.03
    10

    Thursday Apr 03, 2003

    So i'm in Texas. Texas makes me laugh, this place is the most sexuall…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
21
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,599 SuicideGirls
  • 1,114,613 followers
  • 14,946,853 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,458,366 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo