bionicfemme

So Unbornbloom risked her life yesterday on the street for 25 cents! We were waiting for the bus on Market street and she dropped a quarter right in front of a bus stopped at a red light about to turn green. She bent down and stuck her HEAD in front of the bus wheel to retrieve it after I screamed, "For the love of God, don't do it, I can give you a quarter!" After she didn't get killed the guy next to us (dressed as though he was in a 70's action movie, with a button up v-shirt and chest hair popping out) says, "Oh Jesus, you scared me!" To Bloom and then hands her a joint saying, "So, want a spiff?"

A SPIFF? WHAT THE HELL IS A SPIFF?

Anyway, we went shopping on Haight and I felt like a guy 'cause I carried her stuff for her as she would hold up dresses and say, "So, how would this one look on me? How about this one?" My response: "I want you to wear the vinyl corset in the display window..." Her response: "VINYL????"

Maybe it's femme humor.

So then we went to kid robot and she ended up buying me a little kubrick bear wearing fishnets and black panties with dollar bills in them. I love it! She said it was our love child. I said, "MY GOD, OUR DAUGHTER IS A TEENAGE PROSTITUTE!" She actually bought a matching one for herself, so we both own one of the same bear.

Then we went to the crepe store and a chubby little boy a la The Sandlot comes up with a basket of roses and says, "I'm selling flowers...they're for a REALLY good cause!" (What better way to sell something already marketable to the b-femme....) so then I say, "Ok, you pick out the flower you think is the prettiest" to Bloom. The boy says, "Are you guys best friends?" and I kinda said, "Well hon, we're a little bit more than that..." and he says, "Oh... like girlfriend/girlfriend?" and I say yes, and then he blushes like a chubby little cherry and floats out of the store. MIGHT I ADD that we were holding hands and kissing when he came into the restaurant and that he saw? In Bloom's words, "The boy wouldn't have asked if he didn't already know...and he should worry about himself, I mean, he's selling a basket of flowers!"

Other than that, we had no problem with men accosting us this time, and I was really happy that we had such a lovely, peaceful day. In fact, I thought it was really cute because at one point, we were walking right behind a lesbian couple about our same age. One was a white femme and the other was a black butch with a shaved head. I thought they were really cute.

Bloom did get hit on before I met her at the Bart station though. Apparently some guy hit on her in Spanish, then flung open his arms as though he expected her to run into them? Then he and his friend followed her around the station making kissy noises.

Oh barf. I wish I was a big, fat motorcycle butch to prevent such things from happening.