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bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

Followers 82 Following 46

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Thursday Jan 02, 2003

Jan 2, 2003
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Ok, would I be a horrible person if I say I...oh...HATED MY FAMILY???

I find them little more than slightly evolved apes that sling feces when angered. On my Filipino side anyway. My white side is a bunch of money-hungry, racist snobs that won't even talk to you if you're a WHITE immigrant who's come to the US recently.

They hate me because i'm Filipino.
My Filipino side hates me because i'm white, and i'm the first to go to a real college. They think I have white privilege.
Both sides hate me because i'm gay.

And I hate all of THEM!

Here are the people i've spent the holidays with, how they suck and why.

My aunt- obsessive compulsive who keeps talking about what a perverse dyke I am and insists on pushing dates with her friends' 500 pound Filipino sons on me. Preaches about Jesus repetitively.
My uncle- ex alcoholic/drug addict that YELLS to communicate. HURRAH!

My sister doesn't suck.
Neither does my hamster.

All vacation long, i've had to put up with these stupid homophobic comments, Jesus being shoved down my throat, and the family saying, "I don't know what's wrong with Americans. It's too bad you're not a REAL Filipino, because then you would stop eating all that White food." I want to tell them, I don't hate your food because i'm not an authentic Filipino, I hate it because it tastes like an assfull of shit and you're horrible cooks, thanks.

So today I got into a fight with the uncle. He hates me because i'm white, and assumes i'm lazy because i'm white and I have the privilege to go to college. If i'm watching TV he comes by and says stupid things like "Wow, isn't it nice to lay down all the time?" or if I say I have a craving for chocolate he says, "Gee, it's too bad we're not rich like your white grandmother."

I don't know how to burn CD's. I am still recording things onto damn cassette tapes because nobody has taught me the art of CD burning, plus I don't have a CD burner. My uncle does.

So I asked my sister which of the two computers has a CD burner. She says computer A. I proceed to download numerous files and convert things for Computer A. My uncle sits down, watches me do this for at least 15 minutes, asks what i'm doing and I confirm that i'm trying to make a burned CD. He says ok. Then after watching me for like 20 minutes the following ensues.

"Well, I hope you know you can't burn anything on that computer." -Him
"So...you're basically telling me all that stuff I did was pointless?" -Me
"Well, there's not a CD burner in that computer." -Him
"Could you possibly have told me this an hour ago? I mean, you saw me copy all those files, you were watching me." -Me
"I didn't know that you were going to use that computer!" -Him
"Well...i'm not sitting at the other computer. And I asked my sis and she said this was the one with the CD burner." -Me
"You can blah transfer ftp blah yadda blah cd-r blah. That's ALL you have to do." -Him
"Um...I don't know how to do that, i've never burned a CD before."-Me
"You could at least ask for help if you don't know how." -Him
"I've been asking you guys for help for two weeks." -Me
"I don't know how to do it either." -Him
"Uhh...what?" -Me
"LISTEN, YOU COULD AT LEAST ASK PEOPLE NICELY, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN ATTITUDE?" -Him
"DON'T SCREAM AT ME!" - Me
"IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO SOMETHING, ASK FOR HELP!" -Him
"I'M ASKING YOU RIGHT NOW AND YOU SAID YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT!" -Me
"YOU HAVE SUCH AN ATTITUDE BLAH BLAH BLAH" -Him
"Um, can you go away and stop yelling? 'cause i'm not even talking to you anymore, thanks." -Me

He goes away. I continue to try burning things for an hour with again, no help, as i've had none for the past two weeks. I think it's funny that he has a collection of 20 burned CD's AND a CD burner yet miraculously tells me he doesn't know how to burn a CD.

So, um, yeah, fuck it. I'm packing all of my things, getting on the Bart tomorrow and going home. Then they won't have to deal with my unauthentic perverse white homosexual ass until next year. Merry Fucking Christmas.

My family sucks ass.

And I don't want to hear any shit about how a child would be fucked up and unbalanced if it was raised by two mothers. I think my future wife and I can do a hell of a lot of a better job than these fuckups. Thank God i'm not insane or a heroin addict at this point.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
emperor_tane:
{{Hugs}} I can feel where you are coming from. I am biracial as well. I am half black\half white. The white side of my family hates and resents me. The black side as far as I know LIKE me. I feel astranged from everyone and I seclude myself from the world. I am insecure about myself and I really don't trust anyone. I don't know how to love, seeing as I have never know what love has felt like.

And one of my best friends is a 34 year old gay man. He and his partner have adopted a child and are raising him in a warm loving household.

Oh and I cursed out my family a while back.. I must say it made me feel good.

Tane
Jan 2, 2003
butterfly2:
Okay, since you are one of my favest people in the WORLD, I think your family can eat shit. You know why? Because you are a beautiful young woman. *sigh* I wish they'd realize that they are IGNORANT and that they should learn from you!

*hugs* smile I can't wait to see ya again!
Jan 2, 2003

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