Why I am still pathetically in love #4,003:
My email:
N...what are you thinking of where you are?
-Me
Her response:
Bionic Femme,
I think that i am a little confused of your question. I am thinking that i am at a place in my life where i need to really question myself on what's important, and what's just bullshit. Because i have been dealing with a lot of unnecessary drama this past year. I don't like the fact that I'm constantly confused about
what i want. I wish things could be easier, or happier, sometimes.
And i know you think that I'm in love with H. I try to tell myself that same thing everyday. But sometimes she doesn't offer me what i value the most about having a girlfriend. passion. With her i can be myself, and not constantly try and impress her.
And i wonder what lies ahead of me. I've always been in these relationships with girls and been curious to meet others. That probably has to do with my age and
or my lack of experience in sexual relationships.
I just can't wait until i can move out on my own, and finally grow up. I want a lot of things to happen in the next couple of years. I hope to gain some sort of
independence, away from my parents, and away from the unnecessary bullshit. A lot of which i can say i cause, probably by the wrong decisions i make in my
life. But i guess when i reach that independence i can say that i learned from the bullshit, and it makes me who i am.
Funny, charming, determined.
But i am always striving to be more of everything else. i mean, a person can't be described fully in three words or less. well, maybe some. I wish i was more
artistic, i wish i read more, i want to travel all over the world and meet people that move me.
i want to lose some weight and wear dresses to extremely posh parties. i want to help mankind, or die an honorable death.
attn: lady dies saving dozens of kids from burning building........
what i am trying to say is that..well..i don't think much of where I'm at, but hope that more experiences will help me find out what i do want in life.
What are you thinking of where you are?
-N
My email:
N...what are you thinking of where you are?
-Me
Her response:
Bionic Femme,
I think that i am a little confused of your question. I am thinking that i am at a place in my life where i need to really question myself on what's important, and what's just bullshit. Because i have been dealing with a lot of unnecessary drama this past year. I don't like the fact that I'm constantly confused about
what i want. I wish things could be easier, or happier, sometimes.
And i know you think that I'm in love with H. I try to tell myself that same thing everyday. But sometimes she doesn't offer me what i value the most about having a girlfriend. passion. With her i can be myself, and not constantly try and impress her.
And i wonder what lies ahead of me. I've always been in these relationships with girls and been curious to meet others. That probably has to do with my age and
or my lack of experience in sexual relationships.
I just can't wait until i can move out on my own, and finally grow up. I want a lot of things to happen in the next couple of years. I hope to gain some sort of
independence, away from my parents, and away from the unnecessary bullshit. A lot of which i can say i cause, probably by the wrong decisions i make in my
life. But i guess when i reach that independence i can say that i learned from the bullshit, and it makes me who i am.
Funny, charming, determined.
But i am always striving to be more of everything else. i mean, a person can't be described fully in three words or less. well, maybe some. I wish i was more
artistic, i wish i read more, i want to travel all over the world and meet people that move me.
i want to lose some weight and wear dresses to extremely posh parties. i want to help mankind, or die an honorable death.
attn: lady dies saving dozens of kids from burning building........
what i am trying to say is that..well..i don't think much of where I'm at, but hope that more experiences will help me find out what i do want in life.
What are you thinking of where you are?
-N
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
lionboy:
Hello there. You mentioned a book on someone's journal earlier today and I can't remember what it was. Damn my deficient memory anyway. Something with Iguana in it? The author had a Spanish sounding last name. Whatever it was, it sounded wonderful and I want it I want it!!!! If you can remember that would be lovely. *looks up* Funny, that's similar to where I am right now. I'm moving to Cleveland in a month after about 28 years of living in Rhode Island. You can barely see it on a map. You can get from one end of the state to another. People are far too reserved for my need and my liking so I move westward to be with my family of spirit, if not blood. Ah my blood relatives... They simply aren't my kind of people. If I showed them myself in my entirety they would be shocked. They would try to censor my actions. I am tired of sitting behind barrier after barrier to keep people from knowing me because they would not be able to accept what is there. It's been hard enough for me to accept the passions of my heart; I simply don't need the disapproving glares. A life of hiding. It need not be that way. So I move to where my family cannot interfere with my self creation. I need people with whom I can touch souls, who will appreciate my effort to nurture my heart and I can't seem to find anyone like that here. It's far too lonely. I need to break out of my habitual, docile, chickenpoo, certainly able to defend myself physically but not pshychicly. Ah well. I strive to be more and the reality of here and now stifles. It grates and chafes no da... Eh.. I didn't mean for all that to come out. Sorry if that was too much detail but well there it is. Ummm... Nice to meet you!
lionboy:
I meant u kan get from one end of the state to another in under an hour.