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bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

Followers 82 Following 46

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Friday Nov 22, 2002

Nov 22, 2002
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Meh! Just chillin' and reflecting, today is definitely a day of reflection.

So it might seem like i'm overreacting about what happened last night but...i'm just not used to this sort of thing. I'm not used to just making out with someone when I don't care about them and not calling them the day afterwards. It's kind of weird...but it would be better than adding a "9th reason you should not be a lesbian." God knows I can't deal with that right now.

So yet another Pandora's Box is opened.

The thing I fear most at times is apathy...about anything. Apathy is the worst seeming-death. It's funny that apathy has the power to consume and it's the act of doing and feeling nothing.

I guess this is growing up. This is the big leagues, this is how adults play.

This game sucks!

And I feel like how you do when you're 5 and you find out that Santa Claus isn't real when you run downstairs at 3am and find your dad eating the cookies and milk. Like love was an illusion, a fairy tale I believed in for far too long. Like it was something people just told stories about, like sailors telling tales of great sea serpents that never were.

But giant squids exist, don't they? And so do oarfish!

I'm just...struggling with concepts of good and evil. I can't become Marshall Mathers under any means, but also, I can't wear my heart on my sleeve anymore.

I pretty much know who I am at 20, so I think i'm a little bit more level-headed than other girls my age, but when it comes to this line of selfless and selfish, which is quickly blurring, I need to find myself there. And all I ever wanted was a committed relationship but I don't want that anymore because it isn't realistic, so I don't even know what I want in place of that.

This is certainly a day to meander.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
fred:
That was some funny drama from your story of the other night.

Yo... and the crazy ho-bags? Turn 'em to the curb homegirl, hmm-mm. You know what I'm sayin?
Just be representing a dignified presence and let the miss come with presence of mind and shit.
Flip the scrip and turn it around. Recognize the buster lesbo, step up and deny dey bullsheeyut. Word up baby.

You too young to retire you're down with it, havin fun with it. When they learn what to do with it you be done with it.
Nov 22, 2002
bionicfemme:
Word, mofo!!!!

God, you guys are great. I'm just sitting around tonight deep in contemplation, i'm glad to know i'm not a horrific bastard by not calling this girl back.
Nov 22, 2002

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