Soundtrack to this story: Hanin Elias #9 (You will never get me)
So my friends come and we hightail it to Oakland, where we arrive 30 minutes late. The venue is a shoddy, rather frightening run-down warehouse in a really bad neighborhood...we're greeted by this guy who's supposedly running the party. He has a huge bald spot on the back of his head, his hair is greasy and one long wavy green section emerges from the front. Christina and Jeremy introduce me to him and he grabs my hand and says (with a wistful look) "Ah...I believe we've met years ago..." Basically I turn my head and start laughing hysterically because the guy is at least 40 and i'm thinking "Years ago? You can't go back too far, old chap."
Christina tried to teach me how to goth dance (she reaches up to the sky and then tumbles downward saying "Reach for the sky...i've lost my contact...reach for the sky...i've lost my contact." I tried to do the sad, affected goth poses but couldn't do it without cracking up laughing, so my job was to spread propaganda throughout the party. "If you buy this band's CD, you get to see the lead singer's nipple in one of the inset booklet pictures!"
A very handsome boy named "Devion" appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to hit on me for hours. He had long, wavy raven hair tied in a ponytail and very fine facial structure...he totally looked like a homosexual gypsy. I TOLD you if i'm ever attracted to guys that they have to look really effeminate! I didn't believe that his name was really Devion...everybody at the party had the names of Egyptian gods/ goddesses and i'm like, "Ok Osiris." He kept following me around and occasionally, from 20 feet off, he would bust out in kung-fu moves for seemingly no reason, but then i'd see him look at me out of the corner of his eye to see if I was watching him. "Oh, sorry, I have a bad habit of randomly doing my kung-fu moves...i'm an instructor, you know." He did a big gypsy grin. All I could think was honey, if you're trying to impress me with strength, don't bother. Put on some maybelline and we'll do business.
Soon the party started and I was surrounded by hot goth women, but unfortunately a lot of them looked like they were, I dunno, 16? Throughout the course of the night EVERY man at the party hit on me/made a proposition and I had to keep making excuses to run away or i'd have to go back to the bar and flirt with Devion so they'd back off. I was a little disappointed, I wanted some of the hot not 16 year old goth women to approach me, but more often than not their girlfriends had them on a leash...LITERALLY. It was a total BDSM party, complete with a dungeon and a gyno torture table. Aaagh.
So then finally SHE appeared...the fairest goth maiden at the gathering, a total Dia clone, only not as hot. Mee-yowww! I watched her for about an hour, she wasn't hard to keep track of as she purposefully kept walking back and forth in front of me waiting for me to say something. Finally I saw her at the bar and realized I was thirsty anyway, and that I had no money, so i'd charm Devion the bartender into giving me a free thing.
"What's up hottie?" -Me
"What do you want?" -Devion
"I'm soooo thirsty and I don't have any money, but I really want a drink...help me?" [Insert coy smile here] -Me
"Oh fine! I'd only do it for you! Shh...don't tell anybody. What do you want?" -Devion
"Berry juice!" -Me
Seeing that I had established diva charm in front of hot goth girl and that I had become drunk with the power of having 5,000 straight men hit on me at a sex party, I figured what the fuck, I was gonna talk to hot goth girl. I told her that she had pretty tattoos and asked what her name was. She said, "Sky..." with a dreamy, wistful look like the party coordinator. I told her my name was Veronica since everybody was on this fake name kick. An industrial DJ got up on the stage and started spinning Skinny Puppy.
"Oh! Oh I want to dance! Dance with me!" -Sky
"Ahhh! I don't know how to dance to industrial! One of my friends said it involves lots of kicking!" -Me
"C'mon, dance with me! I'll buy you a drink if you do..." -Sky
"Ok!" -Me
I thought it would be hard to dance to, but I learned quickly and in no time at all combined some industrial moves with some of my cage moves...although I didn't look nearly as sexy as Sky. She had this vinyl dress that unzipped from the crotch down so NATURALLY she had to tease me by saying, "Ah, I can't dance like this, i've gotta unzip my dress" thereby unzipping it all the way to the crotch. Like dangling catnip in front of a playful kitten. We talked for a while about things and she was totally hitting on me.
So then she had to go smoke and we went outside. Some homie G came up and tried to hit on me.
"Girl, you got a boyfriend?" -Homie G
"Yeah I don't do guys." -Me
He hung his head in shame and walked away. Poor lad. Guess it's hard to tell with me, i'm not like one of those man-women that wear wifebeaters and don't shave their armpits.
Then Sky and I went back onto the dancefloor and had attracted a crowd at this point; she was a really good dance partner and soooooo sexy. Then she asked me if I could help her find her boyfriend??!! So we went into the "dungeon" to find him and I saw someone tied on the rack with some girl dragging a knife across the person's back...it made me nauseous and weak in the knees...and so I bolted because I thought it was no coincidence that while helping Sky find her boyfriend we magically ended up in the dungeon. I didn't want to end up in some forced threesome with a razorblade to my throat.
God, if I had 5 cents for every time i've been offered a threesome, I could make a thirty minute long distance call to China. I'm not into that. And although I like handcuffs and blindfolds and anything which basically causes powerlessness or loss of sense, i'm not down for anything that causes pain. I know the whole blade thing is more of a trust than a pain issue, but I just don't trust anyone that much, sorry!
Christina and Jeremy asked me what happened to "Elvira" and I said she had a boyfriend, so game over. Christina and I danced like crazy on the floor for a while and left...I fell asleep in the car and they said, "Honey, wake up, we're at grandma's house now!" when they took me home.
I know the Sky thing was a dead end, but i'm just proud that I was able to talk to her, much less dance with her. She was without a doubt the cutest girl at the party. Lately, ever since Dia's diva school pep talk, I really feel like i'm undergoing a revolution, like maybe if I take some time to focus and meditate that I can become the woman I have always wanted to be. I'm going to start believing in my own power. I have also been thinking a lot lately about how i'm the girl that used to always annoy me now. I don't want a relationship anymore. Just like everybody else. Even dating is too exhausting. I just want to make out with girls and not get involved, use them like they use me. It'll be fun and a lot more realistic. Trying to find a girl who actually gives a shit in this world is like trying to find the Holy Grail in Hell.
I'm so tired from partying for the past three nights straight...I think I need to nap all throughout today or go to a cafe and chill...it even shows in my writing, can't you tell?
So my friends come and we hightail it to Oakland, where we arrive 30 minutes late. The venue is a shoddy, rather frightening run-down warehouse in a really bad neighborhood...we're greeted by this guy who's supposedly running the party. He has a huge bald spot on the back of his head, his hair is greasy and one long wavy green section emerges from the front. Christina and Jeremy introduce me to him and he grabs my hand and says (with a wistful look) "Ah...I believe we've met years ago..." Basically I turn my head and start laughing hysterically because the guy is at least 40 and i'm thinking "Years ago? You can't go back too far, old chap."
Christina tried to teach me how to goth dance (she reaches up to the sky and then tumbles downward saying "Reach for the sky...i've lost my contact...reach for the sky...i've lost my contact." I tried to do the sad, affected goth poses but couldn't do it without cracking up laughing, so my job was to spread propaganda throughout the party. "If you buy this band's CD, you get to see the lead singer's nipple in one of the inset booklet pictures!"
A very handsome boy named "Devion" appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to hit on me for hours. He had long, wavy raven hair tied in a ponytail and very fine facial structure...he totally looked like a homosexual gypsy. I TOLD you if i'm ever attracted to guys that they have to look really effeminate! I didn't believe that his name was really Devion...everybody at the party had the names of Egyptian gods/ goddesses and i'm like, "Ok Osiris." He kept following me around and occasionally, from 20 feet off, he would bust out in kung-fu moves for seemingly no reason, but then i'd see him look at me out of the corner of his eye to see if I was watching him. "Oh, sorry, I have a bad habit of randomly doing my kung-fu moves...i'm an instructor, you know." He did a big gypsy grin. All I could think was honey, if you're trying to impress me with strength, don't bother. Put on some maybelline and we'll do business.
Soon the party started and I was surrounded by hot goth women, but unfortunately a lot of them looked like they were, I dunno, 16? Throughout the course of the night EVERY man at the party hit on me/made a proposition and I had to keep making excuses to run away or i'd have to go back to the bar and flirt with Devion so they'd back off. I was a little disappointed, I wanted some of the hot not 16 year old goth women to approach me, but more often than not their girlfriends had them on a leash...LITERALLY. It was a total BDSM party, complete with a dungeon and a gyno torture table. Aaagh.
So then finally SHE appeared...the fairest goth maiden at the gathering, a total Dia clone, only not as hot. Mee-yowww! I watched her for about an hour, she wasn't hard to keep track of as she purposefully kept walking back and forth in front of me waiting for me to say something. Finally I saw her at the bar and realized I was thirsty anyway, and that I had no money, so i'd charm Devion the bartender into giving me a free thing.
"What's up hottie?" -Me
"What do you want?" -Devion
"I'm soooo thirsty and I don't have any money, but I really want a drink...help me?" [Insert coy smile here] -Me
"Oh fine! I'd only do it for you! Shh...don't tell anybody. What do you want?" -Devion
"Berry juice!" -Me
Seeing that I had established diva charm in front of hot goth girl and that I had become drunk with the power of having 5,000 straight men hit on me at a sex party, I figured what the fuck, I was gonna talk to hot goth girl. I told her that she had pretty tattoos and asked what her name was. She said, "Sky..." with a dreamy, wistful look like the party coordinator. I told her my name was Veronica since everybody was on this fake name kick. An industrial DJ got up on the stage and started spinning Skinny Puppy.
"Oh! Oh I want to dance! Dance with me!" -Sky
"Ahhh! I don't know how to dance to industrial! One of my friends said it involves lots of kicking!" -Me
"C'mon, dance with me! I'll buy you a drink if you do..." -Sky
"Ok!" -Me
I thought it would be hard to dance to, but I learned quickly and in no time at all combined some industrial moves with some of my cage moves...although I didn't look nearly as sexy as Sky. She had this vinyl dress that unzipped from the crotch down so NATURALLY she had to tease me by saying, "Ah, I can't dance like this, i've gotta unzip my dress" thereby unzipping it all the way to the crotch. Like dangling catnip in front of a playful kitten. We talked for a while about things and she was totally hitting on me.
So then she had to go smoke and we went outside. Some homie G came up and tried to hit on me.
"Girl, you got a boyfriend?" -Homie G
"Yeah I don't do guys." -Me
He hung his head in shame and walked away. Poor lad. Guess it's hard to tell with me, i'm not like one of those man-women that wear wifebeaters and don't shave their armpits.
Then Sky and I went back onto the dancefloor and had attracted a crowd at this point; she was a really good dance partner and soooooo sexy. Then she asked me if I could help her find her boyfriend??!! So we went into the "dungeon" to find him and I saw someone tied on the rack with some girl dragging a knife across the person's back...it made me nauseous and weak in the knees...and so I bolted because I thought it was no coincidence that while helping Sky find her boyfriend we magically ended up in the dungeon. I didn't want to end up in some forced threesome with a razorblade to my throat.
God, if I had 5 cents for every time i've been offered a threesome, I could make a thirty minute long distance call to China. I'm not into that. And although I like handcuffs and blindfolds and anything which basically causes powerlessness or loss of sense, i'm not down for anything that causes pain. I know the whole blade thing is more of a trust than a pain issue, but I just don't trust anyone that much, sorry!
Christina and Jeremy asked me what happened to "Elvira" and I said she had a boyfriend, so game over. Christina and I danced like crazy on the floor for a while and left...I fell asleep in the car and they said, "Honey, wake up, we're at grandma's house now!" when they took me home.
I know the Sky thing was a dead end, but i'm just proud that I was able to talk to her, much less dance with her. She was without a doubt the cutest girl at the party. Lately, ever since Dia's diva school pep talk, I really feel like i'm undergoing a revolution, like maybe if I take some time to focus and meditate that I can become the woman I have always wanted to be. I'm going to start believing in my own power. I have also been thinking a lot lately about how i'm the girl that used to always annoy me now. I don't want a relationship anymore. Just like everybody else. Even dating is too exhausting. I just want to make out with girls and not get involved, use them like they use me. It'll be fun and a lot more realistic. Trying to find a girl who actually gives a shit in this world is like trying to find the Holy Grail in Hell.
I'm so tired from partying for the past three nights straight...I think I need to nap all throughout today or go to a cafe and chill...it even shows in my writing, can't you tell?
ragingwhore42:
good job!!! at least you had some fun. i wanna learn how to dance-and seduce cute girls.