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bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

Followers 82 Following 46

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Saturday Nov 16, 2002

Nov 15, 2002
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OH. MY. GOD!!!!

Ok, um, the weirdest thing just happened to me...and I believe in omens, so I will share it with you.

It's almost 3am, right? I'm doing...oh...what normal people do at that time. Sleeping. All of a sudden, I wake with a start. Guess what I find? A HUGE QUEEN BEE about the size of half of my finger erratically flying around my room and blindly trying to sting at things! With each failed sting her buzzing gets louder and she gets angrier, she appears to be scaling my walls attempting to construct some form of hive.

OK. This is San Francisco, the magical land where bees and other disgusting insects are not supposed to exist, as it is an urban wonderland. On top of this, my fucking windows are ALL closed, so who in the HELL knows how a QUEEN BEE got into my room?

So much like the pansy ass that I am, I put on my glasses, establish that it is, in fact, a queen bee, (only after escaping her charging stinging) and run out of my home. I run down the hall to my friend, Erin, banging on her door and waking her up.

"Erin...for the love of God there's an ANGRY BEE in my room...help me!" -Me
"A...a what? A bee? Let me see. **Goes to my place, into my room** HOLY FUCK THAT IS THE LARGEST BEE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! OK...um...i'll put this tupperware thing over it and cover it with something so it flies out the window" -Erin

Erin successfully subdues the beast and sets her free. "Well, now you can tell everyone I saved you from a big hairy monster at 3am. What the fuck was that thing doing in your room?" -Erin

Um, you know what, I DON'T KNOW! MY WINDOWS WERE CLOSED!

So apparently God is trying to smite me, as there is some cancerous growth coming out of my neck and killer bees are trying to assassinate me in my sleep. It kinda seemed like a killer bee, it was all offensive and on attack mode and shit.

Well. I wonder what this little omen means. How in the hell did a queen bee end up rioting in my bedroom? In San Francisco??? (Bees have another double metaphoric value in my life, but we won't get into that.)

Funny thing was that for a while, she was swarming all over Dia's picture on my ceiling and we have this joke where I say my fantasy is that i'm covered in honey and Dia's dressed like a giant bee...lol!
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
bionicfemme:
Invaderkim: LOL!

Rastonjulia: LOCUSTS!!!!!

Mistersatan: NUN PORN!!??? Bah hahaha!
Nov 16, 2002
tatum:
Yay for you and not killing it even though it seems like she was trying to kill you lol, that's hilarious about the picture of Dia!! That all sounds like something from the X-files or something! They had that whole thing about bees on that show!
Nov 16, 2002

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