Digdug, I love you. If I was straight, I would so get my ass to LA so I could be your wife.
And speaking of wives, the stacey scenario is nuts, don't ask me how or why anything is the way it is.
So the psychic I went to is right; there really IS an evil, satanic force stealing away all the chances of love in my life. Things are fantabulous with Stacey, right? Well about two days before she left Arizona to come to SF for college, one of her very best friends told her she was in love with her and she wanted to be with her. Stacey couldn't do anything about 'cause, um, she was moving to fucking San Francisco!
So now this friend of hers, Sarah, calls her several times a day saying stuff like "I just wanted to let you know that it takes me 45 minutes to drive to your house, I was bored today and decided to time myself" and she's now telling Stacey she actually wants to move to SF to be her fucking bride or something! Imagine that, I'll be defeated by a last-minute antagonist from another state. Genius.
So Stacey basically doesn't want a long distance relationship but she doesn't know how to tell Sarah that; the last time Stacey told a girl she didn't want to be with her, the girl ran into her house and OD'd on medication trying to kill herself and Stacey had to rush her to the emergency room, so now she has a phobia. She's afraid of what will happen if she tells Sarah she doesn't want to be with her because Sarah might go nuts, she's already really depressed. After all, does she not sound crazy? So Stacey wants to wait until she goes home for thanksgiving to tell Sarah in person so she won't feel responsible for anything bad happening.
In the meantime, Stacey feels guilty for seeing me because she says she's never cheated on anyone in her life, even if she isn't technically cheating on Sarah because Sarah's the one who is telling Stacey they're in some imaginary relationship that Stacey claims she hasn't consented to because she doesn't want to be with her.
So last night, she said she didn't want to hurt me (like every other lesbian on the face of the planet) but that she didn't want to stop seeing me because she likes me. I told her I could back off completely but she said she didn't want to stop seeing me and at the same time didn't want to establish anything serious so she wouldn't break my heart. Ha, like it's too late to do that anyway. I like her a lot, I think we have a lot in common and she's one of the only other girls I know that actually gives a shit about humanity and wants to help other people, be a hero. "I don't want to sound like a pig, but I like making out with you and, um, I want to keep doing it." She said. Heh.
So I said fine. You want to date me casually? Then OK. But we sure as hell can't have sex, the whole problem with my psychotic ex girlfriend was that all she did was use me for sex, and i'm not making the same mistake twice. If you want to casually date, then don't expect to fuck me. So she starts freaking out saying "Noooooo!!!" and I go "Ha, you're telling me. I want to use my edible underwear, dammit!" and she pleaded, saying "Oh please? Not even once? You wouldn't even have to reciprocate, i'd do everything" and I was like "Um, yeah. That would be a no. I'm not having sex with anybody who isn't my girlfriend." and I guess these terms made sense for the both of us. Besides, they'll force her into making a decision quicker, if I tease her bad enough. Mwa ha ha.
I hate this Sarah girl, I wish I could send a Mafia hitman to Arizona to break her kneecaps and get her out of the picture. I mean, what the fuck, SHE'S IN ARIZONA! And I feel like a bitch, seeing Stacey when I know there's a girl in another state who loves her dearly, but this time, i'm fighting for the girl I want. I always back off for somebody else and i'm not doing it this time around. I hate Sarah. I shouldn't be defeated by a girl in ANOTHER STATE!
And I really do hate women, I mean, wtf. I don't know why they want to use me for sex, it's not like i'm a voluptuous bombshell 36C or something. I'm like a gangly little boy that writes poetry! They want to make me a mindless, silenced illicit sex slave, for the love of God, whyyyyyyyyy?
And fine, i'm not falling for all this bullshit where girls say they just want to date casually and they see ten million people but I can't. I hope she knows i'm going to see lots of other girls too because i'm not falling for this shit anymore, it hurts to much to invest all of your honest affection into someone only to have them betray you or tell you they don't want you anymore. Not happening this time. I'm having backups, there will be no double standard where I am 100% faithful and Stacey can see whomever she wants.
I'm off to shower and go to a coffeeshop to write. This whole Stacey scenario is weird. I don't know if i'm making the right decision or if i'm repeating history by continuing to date her. What do you guys think? Am I being a heartless bitch or a mindless slut? What would you do?
And speaking of wives, the stacey scenario is nuts, don't ask me how or why anything is the way it is.
So the psychic I went to is right; there really IS an evil, satanic force stealing away all the chances of love in my life. Things are fantabulous with Stacey, right? Well about two days before she left Arizona to come to SF for college, one of her very best friends told her she was in love with her and she wanted to be with her. Stacey couldn't do anything about 'cause, um, she was moving to fucking San Francisco!
So now this friend of hers, Sarah, calls her several times a day saying stuff like "I just wanted to let you know that it takes me 45 minutes to drive to your house, I was bored today and decided to time myself" and she's now telling Stacey she actually wants to move to SF to be her fucking bride or something! Imagine that, I'll be defeated by a last-minute antagonist from another state. Genius.
So Stacey basically doesn't want a long distance relationship but she doesn't know how to tell Sarah that; the last time Stacey told a girl she didn't want to be with her, the girl ran into her house and OD'd on medication trying to kill herself and Stacey had to rush her to the emergency room, so now she has a phobia. She's afraid of what will happen if she tells Sarah she doesn't want to be with her because Sarah might go nuts, she's already really depressed. After all, does she not sound crazy? So Stacey wants to wait until she goes home for thanksgiving to tell Sarah in person so she won't feel responsible for anything bad happening.
In the meantime, Stacey feels guilty for seeing me because she says she's never cheated on anyone in her life, even if she isn't technically cheating on Sarah because Sarah's the one who is telling Stacey they're in some imaginary relationship that Stacey claims she hasn't consented to because she doesn't want to be with her.
So last night, she said she didn't want to hurt me (like every other lesbian on the face of the planet) but that she didn't want to stop seeing me because she likes me. I told her I could back off completely but she said she didn't want to stop seeing me and at the same time didn't want to establish anything serious so she wouldn't break my heart. Ha, like it's too late to do that anyway. I like her a lot, I think we have a lot in common and she's one of the only other girls I know that actually gives a shit about humanity and wants to help other people, be a hero. "I don't want to sound like a pig, but I like making out with you and, um, I want to keep doing it." She said. Heh.
So I said fine. You want to date me casually? Then OK. But we sure as hell can't have sex, the whole problem with my psychotic ex girlfriend was that all she did was use me for sex, and i'm not making the same mistake twice. If you want to casually date, then don't expect to fuck me. So she starts freaking out saying "Noooooo!!!" and I go "Ha, you're telling me. I want to use my edible underwear, dammit!" and she pleaded, saying "Oh please? Not even once? You wouldn't even have to reciprocate, i'd do everything" and I was like "Um, yeah. That would be a no. I'm not having sex with anybody who isn't my girlfriend." and I guess these terms made sense for the both of us. Besides, they'll force her into making a decision quicker, if I tease her bad enough. Mwa ha ha.
I hate this Sarah girl, I wish I could send a Mafia hitman to Arizona to break her kneecaps and get her out of the picture. I mean, what the fuck, SHE'S IN ARIZONA! And I feel like a bitch, seeing Stacey when I know there's a girl in another state who loves her dearly, but this time, i'm fighting for the girl I want. I always back off for somebody else and i'm not doing it this time around. I hate Sarah. I shouldn't be defeated by a girl in ANOTHER STATE!
And I really do hate women, I mean, wtf. I don't know why they want to use me for sex, it's not like i'm a voluptuous bombshell 36C or something. I'm like a gangly little boy that writes poetry! They want to make me a mindless, silenced illicit sex slave, for the love of God, whyyyyyyyyy?
And fine, i'm not falling for all this bullshit where girls say they just want to date casually and they see ten million people but I can't. I hope she knows i'm going to see lots of other girls too because i'm not falling for this shit anymore, it hurts to much to invest all of your honest affection into someone only to have them betray you or tell you they don't want you anymore. Not happening this time. I'm having backups, there will be no double standard where I am 100% faithful and Stacey can see whomever she wants.
I'm off to shower and go to a coffeeshop to write. This whole Stacey scenario is weird. I don't know if i'm making the right decision or if i'm repeating history by continuing to date her. What do you guys think? Am I being a heartless bitch or a mindless slut? What would you do?
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
" sometimes I think yer crazy and sick
other times I think yer soooo fiiiine..."
and I am pretty sure that you,for a fact, are not a heartless slut or a mindless bitch...er.
It just sounds like there are enough issues to make a subscription...or make you wanna take out a prescription...
at this point I say, protect yourself from harm. Do what is right for you. If Stacey ever comes to her senses and wants to meet you halfway, then excellent. If not...seriously...it's her loss.
I just hope it all works out for ya. I mean...hell...if a cute,intelligent, funny, generally neet lesbian girl cannot find love in this world.....what chance do the rest of us have.
no pressure. :-P
anyhow...just wishing you well
V