bionicfemme

OK, I need to get the phuck out of my house. Francisco and I are going to go out for coffee because everything and everybody sucks ass. I guess he was talking to Stacey and she claims i'm getting "too attatched" despite the fact she calls me SIX times a day and I call her, um, ZERO times a day? Yeah. And I never let her see how much I like her, I just write it all in journals, you know? I REALLY don't understand women. They are ALL crazy.

You're going to laugh, but I think i'm going to try to force myself to be straight. My ex-boyfriend really loves me. Why would you keep begging for somebody back 4 years after you break up? He still wants me after all that time, and we haven't even seen each other in like 2 years. He still writes. I think if I try really hard, I can make myself like him. I think I can be with him. Yes, I can try really hard and be straight. Then i'll make my mother proud, i'll make God proud, hell, i'll make AMERICA proud by being the loving breeder housewife everbody knows and loves. I'm going to do it. And the when all the lesbians on campus get disgusted and lose respect with me for going back to men, i'll laugh in their faces.

Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I'm going to be straight. It's going to be OK. I'll force myself. The only thing i've ever really taken pride in is my strong self-will. I've always forced myself to beat tremendous odds and circumstances and I always do. So i'm going to try this and see what happens. It's genius. Maybe I can have his baby and cover up this whole year and a half I wasted drooling over women who hate me. Yesssssss.....