I made a new friend today. There is this guy always roaming around the building I live in named Clark. He is tough, punk, dark-haired and good-looking, always wearing all black with seven piercings in his face (yes, I counted them.) My friend Liam is friends with him and Clark and I have spoken in passing a few times, but today he came up to me and we had one of the most brilliant and engaging conversations, ever.
"Dude! I heard you're gay." -Clark
"Yeah. What of it?" -Me
"I am too." -Clark
"WTF??? Yes!" -Me!
We sat down for a long-ass time and talked forever about how we think gay stereotypes are stupid and we have no need to fit into them (Read: Cher loving princess man/Patriarchy hating vegan). I literally would never have guessed Clark was gay; he is so tough and speaks with a soft, rough voice, with no lisp.
"Ah ha, i've got you down." He said. "You want someone who looks and acts straight, who is gay."
"Yeah basically." I said. He agreed that was what he wanted too.
We talked about all sorts of perversions. He is into weird humiliation sex and I am into...ah just general stuff. I guess I would say light BDSM and Role-Playing. Not like, you have to dress up like a Swiss Milkmaid for me or anything, but I like to think up characters sometimes when i'm sleeping with people, and I like to be talked to a lot (language and how you use it is sometimes more important to me than what you do with your body.) I like to be overpowered sometimes. Although I like to overpower as well too. I'm pretty much open to anything; as long as you're not beating the crap out of me, doesn't involve anyone else but me and you and there are no animals, i'm down to try it out at least once.
So we talked all about straight porn and he said, "In straight porn I watch the guy when he nails the girl." I said, "Well, when I watch straight porn, I imagine myself BECOMING the guy nailing the girl." "Dude! You fuckin' rock!" He cheered. We smoked cigarettes and talked all about every gay sex scene to hang out in under the sun.
You know, I don't know where I fit in sexually yet, I guess. I actually have not had enough experience to ascertain that. I don't know what long term relationships are like either. There is so much that I don't know yet about gay relationships. And Clark said, "All this bad luck now means mad crazy good luck for you later." Maybe he's right.
Being gay is such an intense, multi-layered mysterious experience...I should not be in a rush to figure it all out now. I realized today that when i'm 35, I will not quest for love like this anymore.
This pain is delicious, because it is still new.
"Dude! I heard you're gay." -Clark
"Yeah. What of it?" -Me
"I am too." -Clark
"WTF??? Yes!" -Me!
We sat down for a long-ass time and talked forever about how we think gay stereotypes are stupid and we have no need to fit into them (Read: Cher loving princess man/Patriarchy hating vegan). I literally would never have guessed Clark was gay; he is so tough and speaks with a soft, rough voice, with no lisp.
"Ah ha, i've got you down." He said. "You want someone who looks and acts straight, who is gay."
"Yeah basically." I said. He agreed that was what he wanted too.
We talked about all sorts of perversions. He is into weird humiliation sex and I am into...ah just general stuff. I guess I would say light BDSM and Role-Playing. Not like, you have to dress up like a Swiss Milkmaid for me or anything, but I like to think up characters sometimes when i'm sleeping with people, and I like to be talked to a lot (language and how you use it is sometimes more important to me than what you do with your body.) I like to be overpowered sometimes. Although I like to overpower as well too. I'm pretty much open to anything; as long as you're not beating the crap out of me, doesn't involve anyone else but me and you and there are no animals, i'm down to try it out at least once.
So we talked all about straight porn and he said, "In straight porn I watch the guy when he nails the girl." I said, "Well, when I watch straight porn, I imagine myself BECOMING the guy nailing the girl." "Dude! You fuckin' rock!" He cheered. We smoked cigarettes and talked all about every gay sex scene to hang out in under the sun.
You know, I don't know where I fit in sexually yet, I guess. I actually have not had enough experience to ascertain that. I don't know what long term relationships are like either. There is so much that I don't know yet about gay relationships. And Clark said, "All this bad luck now means mad crazy good luck for you later." Maybe he's right.
Being gay is such an intense, multi-layered mysterious experience...I should not be in a rush to figure it all out now. I realized today that when i'm 35, I will not quest for love like this anymore.
This pain is delicious, because it is still new.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
joscelyne:
How many times can one write THE best entry ever? (or experience it, anyway)... I'm glad you're not in a rush to figure it all out anymore. I'm trying to take everything day by day and see what happens instead of my usual flitting about getting upset at not making things happen for myself. I'll let you know how it's going.
schleprock:
hahahaha....Another pick up line that just won't work for me.
