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bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

Followers 82 Following 46

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Saturday May 31, 2003

May 31, 2003
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Since when did the SG community become so cruel? I don't remember the last time in my entire life I contemplated suicide so heavily and all I get are a bunch of members telling me my writing sucks and that I SHOULD go away. Hmm, maybe that's why the site is called SUICIDEgirls.

Hey thanks. I haven't, you know, been insulted my whole life or told to go away for most of it or anything.

I don't WANT to die. But I am running out of options to live. I don't care what anyone says; you do need someone, at least once in 21 years, to tell you that they love you and care about you and think you're special somehow. You do need to hear it every once in a while. I have been treated like fucking REFUSE my whole life, no matter how hard I try to change and be better for someone.

I'm not dumb and I know i'm not going to find anyone, ever. The same things keep happening and lately I can even predict them. Why, even in first grade, they teach you how to recognize and follow a pattern.

So basically if anyone else thinks it's funny to laugh at my suffering, please stay the FUCK out of my journal as I am just trying to find a reason to live.

We can't all be happy girls with happy boyfriends, can we?

Especially not when some of us come from under-privileged households with abusive parents and are GAY in a place where all gay women are bitchy, noncomittal, and define their sexuality by, well, how much sex they can have with other women.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
karry_ling:
stick in there evrything will be alright smile
May 31, 2003
r_dominique:
i really don't know what's up, so i'll refrain from breaking bones in any direction, but i'd like to let you know that i like your writing, especially in your journal, and that is why i added you as a friend, to more easily access your journal. and i would assume that the other 30-some-odd peeps that have you as a friend feel the same way. so relax... every author has detractors, and critics, but not many have fans before they even start out of the gate.

you do.

try to live... you brighten otherwise gloomy days for many people.
May 31, 2003

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