God, i'm sorry, I know it's like 7:30 in the morning and i'm going to spew on a topic that is going to cause much controversy, but I HATE POLYAMORY. I hate it more than anything. And right now i'm arguing with a bunch of girls on CL about it.
So basically they're playing the whole "Wah wah we never have any polyamorist role models, the queer community is polyphobic, monogamy is the institution of the patriarchy" card exactly as planned.
Well what the fuck. What am I supposed to do, agree that greed in relationships is a good thing? Say that everyone in the world should have "primary" and "secondary" partners as they're calling them? WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO BE A SECONDARY? You can't treat people that way. You can't love one person a lot and keep around a bunch of little fuck buddies on the side. That's the way I always turn out to be. I end up with some girl who is TOTALLY attached to her first girlfriend of 3245708 years and I just end up as a secret side project until I find out, blow up, and move on. Wow, i'd like to be a "primary" indeed.
And they complain about not having any role models. Um, the whole gay community of SF are their frickin' role models. I have not met one girl since I came here that believes in monogamy or committed relationships. It's not like they have a lack of polyamorist people to talk with.
And one was saying they were "BORN" that way! What the hell. This is exactly the arguments that conservatives use against us. They say that gay people only care about sex and aren't capable of the depth of heterosexual love. This just is not true! Argh. I feel like the polyamorist movement hurts someone involved every time and sets us back about a million years. I want conservatives to see that we are complete and compelling human people, not a bunch of sex addicts that go to the sex club every day.
Am I the last girl in the world that thinks this way? Everything is NOT about sex! Isn't it possible to fall in love with a person as they are, and to work out low sex drive issues as they arise? One of the girls hit me below the belt and said, "Well, obviously you've never been in a long term relationship."
Alright, so I haven't. But would it REALLY be all that hard to get me to have sex? PROBABLY not. And I would talk to my partner if there was a problem, not run off and sleep with a bunch of whores at a sex club because I need to satiate some uncontrollable craving. That's greed, and to blame other people for "following the patriarchy" because they're strong enough to be satisfied by one person is just wrong.
God. Whatever. I am getting THE FUCK out of here once I graduate. This is Babylon, I am surrounded by heathens.
Yeah, why don't we all just sleep with 3,000 secondaries and one primary and contract a bunch of incurable STD's. Hey, that sounds like a great idea. I sure would love HPV, or herpes, and that definitely sounds like a plan. Like i'm supposed to believe using latex barriers works each and every time you have casual sex. Right. Of course they're 100% safe. A latex barrier has never, ever been proven ineffective. That risk really is worth taking with a complete stranger I feel hardly anything for.
God I love being the last strong, compassionate woman in San Francisco. There's no way in hell i'll ever date someone here again. Already i've imported most of the girls i've dated from San Mateo, south of here, because they're a lot more suburban and conservative there.
I'm just tired of the lesbians around here making me feel like some uptight, inexperienced prude because I don't agree with people treating each other like numbers. Fuck primaries and secondaries. A realtionship is not always about you, there is another person involved you have to take into consideration. And absolutely nothing would hurt me more than seeing my partner have sex with someone else or awarding me second place in their heart.
So basically they're playing the whole "Wah wah we never have any polyamorist role models, the queer community is polyphobic, monogamy is the institution of the patriarchy" card exactly as planned.
Well what the fuck. What am I supposed to do, agree that greed in relationships is a good thing? Say that everyone in the world should have "primary" and "secondary" partners as they're calling them? WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO BE A SECONDARY? You can't treat people that way. You can't love one person a lot and keep around a bunch of little fuck buddies on the side. That's the way I always turn out to be. I end up with some girl who is TOTALLY attached to her first girlfriend of 3245708 years and I just end up as a secret side project until I find out, blow up, and move on. Wow, i'd like to be a "primary" indeed.
And they complain about not having any role models. Um, the whole gay community of SF are their frickin' role models. I have not met one girl since I came here that believes in monogamy or committed relationships. It's not like they have a lack of polyamorist people to talk with.
And one was saying they were "BORN" that way! What the hell. This is exactly the arguments that conservatives use against us. They say that gay people only care about sex and aren't capable of the depth of heterosexual love. This just is not true! Argh. I feel like the polyamorist movement hurts someone involved every time and sets us back about a million years. I want conservatives to see that we are complete and compelling human people, not a bunch of sex addicts that go to the sex club every day.
Am I the last girl in the world that thinks this way? Everything is NOT about sex! Isn't it possible to fall in love with a person as they are, and to work out low sex drive issues as they arise? One of the girls hit me below the belt and said, "Well, obviously you've never been in a long term relationship."
Alright, so I haven't. But would it REALLY be all that hard to get me to have sex? PROBABLY not. And I would talk to my partner if there was a problem, not run off and sleep with a bunch of whores at a sex club because I need to satiate some uncontrollable craving. That's greed, and to blame other people for "following the patriarchy" because they're strong enough to be satisfied by one person is just wrong.
God. Whatever. I am getting THE FUCK out of here once I graduate. This is Babylon, I am surrounded by heathens.
Yeah, why don't we all just sleep with 3,000 secondaries and one primary and contract a bunch of incurable STD's. Hey, that sounds like a great idea. I sure would love HPV, or herpes, and that definitely sounds like a plan. Like i'm supposed to believe using latex barriers works each and every time you have casual sex. Right. Of course they're 100% safe. A latex barrier has never, ever been proven ineffective. That risk really is worth taking with a complete stranger I feel hardly anything for.
God I love being the last strong, compassionate woman in San Francisco. There's no way in hell i'll ever date someone here again. Already i've imported most of the girls i've dated from San Mateo, south of here, because they're a lot more suburban and conservative there.
I'm just tired of the lesbians around here making me feel like some uptight, inexperienced prude because I don't agree with people treating each other like numbers. Fuck primaries and secondaries. A realtionship is not always about you, there is another person involved you have to take into consideration. And absolutely nothing would hurt me more than seeing my partner have sex with someone else or awarding me second place in their heart.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
but my thing is i have the guy i love just haven't found the girl....and when i do i will stop being with other girls that is just me...because i know for sure i wasn't meant for loving just one person....
but i have never truely believe in secondary or primamry...everyone is a primary to me...just gets a little hard doing that system...blargh...anywho...i really do hope you find that lovely lady that is the right one for you someday...
hey plus this just a thought...ever thought about moving to portland