Humor, laughing, light heartedness... I NEED this in my life! Life can be so demanding, so overwhelming, so constricting; I need to laugh! So this week's @bloghomework given by @missy and @rambo is sure to be the highlight of my week!!
**The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why did you bring your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
**A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of penises are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
**What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
**“A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex. After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?" The mom said, "We were baking a cake." A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake in the living room?" She said yes, and asked him how he knew. He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch! It was sweet!”
**What's the ultimate rejection? When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
**What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize!
**One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys was lingering over by a bush. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long, so he walked over to the bush, and to his astonishment saw a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden the second boy took off running.
The first boy couldn't understand why his friend ran away so abruptly, so he took off after him. When he finally caught up to him, he asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."
Hope you enjoyed my dirty jokes!! Now tell me one of your favorites!
<3 Bindi <3
