billytheseal

this is what my work is like. picture me answering the phone....

Me: New Business, Stu speaking, how can I help?

Account Manager: Hi Stu, how are you?

Me : Fine th

Account Manager: Great. Great. Listen I've just had a call from one of my dealers it's five three six

Me: Oh, hang on

Account Manager: ...five seven nine eight three five in the name of Johnson.

Me: Okay, I'm looking at that now.

Account Manager: We've declined this one. Any reason why?

Me: Well, yes We couldn't trace the customer at first.

Account Manager: Right, okay

Me: And when we did it turns out he's dead.

Account Manager: I see I see Have we tried calling him?

Me: He's dead.

Account Manager: What about a bigger deposit?

Me: He's he's dead

Account Manager: Okay Guarantor?

Me: He's dead.

Account Manager: How, umm, how long has he been dead?

Me: Since 1811. The name on the proposal is Doctor Samuel Johnson. He was the author of the first English language dictionary, and he's dead.

Account Manager: Right. Right. Have we tried talking to the dealer?

Me: No. The customer is dead.

Account Manager: Right because we really don't want to lose this one to GE

Me: The customer has been dead for almost two hundred years.

Account Manager: What about with a shorter term?

Me: The customer is buried in Highgate Cemetery in London. He's been buried there since the time of the Napoleonic wars. He's dead.

Account Manager: What about sub-prime, would they look at it?



(Long pause)



Me: Yeah probably.