billyfivecrows

Amazing. I can't tell if your poems are getting better by the day or if I'm just getting better at understanding them.

Sorry I missed your last entry - I was off in Lackwit la la land I'm sure you won't blame me for being a bit shocked at the age of your ex - I get the feeling you've been easing us in over the last week . But you still sound perfectly sure of yourself and what you want to do, so I feel you're as good as in the clear.

I'm glad to have someone to relate my tales of my Art School days to. I was into Twombly back then as well, and I still like him now. I actually saw an exhibition of his recent work a few years ago in Edinburgh, at Inverleith House in the Royal Botanic Gardens. It was excellent. Unfortunately I missed Schnabel's exhibition at the same place around the same time, but I found pictures of it here and they're excellent, especially those "panel" ones.

I think my art tutors stand-offishness towards me did affect me badly; I just felt distinctly unappreciated in the very environment that I, an eighteen-year-old painter, had expected to be appreciated more than anywhere else. And that's a pretty bad experience for an idealistic young artist to have. I think it really made me believe that "The World" would never care about my art, no-matter how good it was. I'm only just recovering from that belief now, and very slowly getting back to where I left off several years ago. I'm trying to trust in Providence as far as success goes; I'm just going to give myself to art as much as is humanly (and healthily) possible. I consider myself self-taught, as it goes, and I think that's maybe why my art tutors had such a problem with me - I already had significant talent when I arrived at art school, the kind of talent usually only seen in graduates and beyond; so I don't think they knew what to do with me. In trying to teach me they were essentially trying to teach someone who was already an artist; but then they refused to acknowledge my talent fully, probably through envy, so I was just stuck. It was infuriating, maddening and deeply depressing all at once; which is why I dropped out.

Anyway, that's enough purging out of me for today.

Ciao for now brown cow

Where'd it go?