"Sunday morning, praise the dawning
It's just a restless feeling by my side.
Early dawning, sunday morning
It's just the wasted years so close behind"
Sunday Morning. Velvet Underground. This song has been in my head since midnight last night. It's funny I'm writing this now. It's almost three in the afternoon, and I slept until 1.30.
Restlessness. Yeah. Odd week. I've been sorting through the last 20 years to see where I am now. Thing is, I don't feel like I "wasted" any of those years. Some of those years, most of them, almost wasted me! But it was all to get me to this point. And I feel pretty good. Yeah, I'm pretty much sedentary these days, but I never dreamed life could be this good. Focus. Relative health. Artistic satisfaction and ongoing passion and curiosity. A strong spiritual grounding.
Are we ever really 'sedentary'? Always something of the Process going on, whether we can see it or not. Perpetuation.
I acknowledge and release the past. I live in the now, reflecting on the past when needed, in a healthy, constructive manner. I caress and nurture dream, and send blessing to future. I'm ready. More importantly, I'm Here.
I Know this to be So. And so it Is.
*
"Watch out, the worlds behind you
There's always someone around you who will call
It's nothing at all..."
No matter how lonely I get, someone always seems to show up. Even if it's me. I've been a hermit before, and I liked it. But that's obsolete for now. All of my friends and acquaintences of the past three years have dissipated. Most went with the last relationship. It's nice to be new. To be able to pick and choose and find out where I really fit in.
I fit in with myself first of all. Then others.
*
"Sunday morning, and I'm falling
I've got a feeling I don't want to know.
Early dawning, sunday morning
It's all the streets you crossed, not so long ago"
The abyss I leaped into a while back is making a bit more sense. I see my immediate place and I welcome the comfort this knowledge is bringing. Projection's minimum; one day at a time. One second. Whatever needs be.
I met someone quite by "accident" a couple of weeks ago. Something was said on the boards that triggered something in me, I responded, then I left it alone. I got a note in response, so I started making contact onSG and eventually via e-mail.
Wonderful, lucid mind. Intelligent and compassionate. Seems like she has a big heart and a curious, hungry intellect. Amazing spiritual potential. A fascinating mix of the linear and logical, and the intuitive. I'm grateful for getting to know her a little at a time. Seems like a kindred spirit.
Sure, we don't really know each other. But I'm willing to learn. Whatever time's involved.
I've got no plans except what happens "today".
It's a short life on this plane. Why not?
It's just a restless feeling by my side.
Early dawning, sunday morning
It's just the wasted years so close behind"
Sunday Morning. Velvet Underground. This song has been in my head since midnight last night. It's funny I'm writing this now. It's almost three in the afternoon, and I slept until 1.30.
Restlessness. Yeah. Odd week. I've been sorting through the last 20 years to see where I am now. Thing is, I don't feel like I "wasted" any of those years. Some of those years, most of them, almost wasted me! But it was all to get me to this point. And I feel pretty good. Yeah, I'm pretty much sedentary these days, but I never dreamed life could be this good. Focus. Relative health. Artistic satisfaction and ongoing passion and curiosity. A strong spiritual grounding.
Are we ever really 'sedentary'? Always something of the Process going on, whether we can see it or not. Perpetuation.
I acknowledge and release the past. I live in the now, reflecting on the past when needed, in a healthy, constructive manner. I caress and nurture dream, and send blessing to future. I'm ready. More importantly, I'm Here.
I Know this to be So. And so it Is.
*
"Watch out, the worlds behind you
There's always someone around you who will call
It's nothing at all..."
No matter how lonely I get, someone always seems to show up. Even if it's me. I've been a hermit before, and I liked it. But that's obsolete for now. All of my friends and acquaintences of the past three years have dissipated. Most went with the last relationship. It's nice to be new. To be able to pick and choose and find out where I really fit in.
I fit in with myself first of all. Then others.
*
"Sunday morning, and I'm falling
I've got a feeling I don't want to know.
Early dawning, sunday morning
It's all the streets you crossed, not so long ago"
The abyss I leaped into a while back is making a bit more sense. I see my immediate place and I welcome the comfort this knowledge is bringing. Projection's minimum; one day at a time. One second. Whatever needs be.
I met someone quite by "accident" a couple of weeks ago. Something was said on the boards that triggered something in me, I responded, then I left it alone. I got a note in response, so I started making contact onSG and eventually via e-mail.
Wonderful, lucid mind. Intelligent and compassionate. Seems like she has a big heart and a curious, hungry intellect. Amazing spiritual potential. A fascinating mix of the linear and logical, and the intuitive. I'm grateful for getting to know her a little at a time. Seems like a kindred spirit.
Sure, we don't really know each other. But I'm willing to learn. Whatever time's involved.
I've got no plans except what happens "today".
It's a short life on this plane. Why not?
Everyone will think you're talking about them. Is that the plan? Who you talking about?
Happy to hear you're feeling good about where you're at.
I was for a while, but now am doing much worse. I have severe food sensitivities, I ate something accidentally that set them off. ticker acting up (arrhythmia), asthma, stomach cramps, mood swings. I'll be fine tomorrow.