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billyfivecrows

Member Since 2005

Followers 49 Following 77

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Saturday Aug 06, 2005

Aug 6, 2005
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"The minds's divisive/ But the heart knows better..."

-D. Sylvian.

(That's all fine and dandy...but here lately, I keep hearing James Hetfield's agressive, staccato whisper 'damageincorporated!')

*

Sometimes it seems that impulse and intuition are closely cousined. Other times it feels like taking potshots in the dark.

*

Ow...weird twinge and catch in back muscles inbetween shoulderblades. Can't move too well, hard to take a deep breath. ow wow ow...

First my head, then this....

bitch bitch bitch complain complain complain

Maybe it's from all of the emotional tapdancing I've been doing lately (After saying 'No...I don't do that anymore!' Humiliating. I feel a bit of the old darkness creeping in. So what. "Evil" is ego. Darkness is subtle, doesn't need to convince. Embrace it 'till it's over, Rain. It never lasts long.)

My circumstances are keeping me rooted to the spot in so many ways right now. I'm lonely as hell, horny as fuck, but completely over it before I can do anything about it. Frightening ambivalance seems always on the heels of blissful hope. I'm intellectualy emaciated, I need mind stimulation- that's more important than fucking right now. Something upstairs before something downstairs. Please.

I've got cabin fever, but can't think of anywhere I'd really like to go. And I'm all but broke, financially. Yeah, this is all temporary, but man it fucking sucks when I'm feeeling it.

My back hurting. Maybe it's just wings growing in so I can fly away.....

Reiki the back muscles, hands on chest from the front. Right at the heart chakra...hmmm...

*

Birthday gathering for a local SG member not too far away from me today. Can't go, no cash to spare.

Can't miss what you've never had, huh?

Last day of initial SG membership. Tempting to say fuck it and cancel. But who am I kidding...I love it here.

*

Bathroom sink shopping today. Great. Hope I feel better before having to install the motherf***ing thing.


This looks and feels too much like a diary entry.

Yuk.

Bring back the weird poetry.


Please.



grumble grumble grumble



friedbanana:
Thank you. I love recording improv music. There's something more magical in it, I think.

I srota feel the same way you do. I was stuck at home for quite a bit due to anxiety after an accident. I had no money to go out when I did start going out to fight it. Catch 22...

Aug 6, 2005
pygmy:
I have a sister, but she's decidedly not like me wink

I'm okay, but yes, it's true; any time i'm nostalgic usually means there's depression on its way. but i diverted its course. i'm definitely not an open book but it's good to air out the pages every once in a while.

This soreness is contagious! i'm really achey today too. I blame it on the food I ate.
Aug 6, 2005

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