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billyfivecrows

Member Since 2005

Followers 49 Following 77

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Wednesday Nov 09, 2005

Nov 9, 2005
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Hi.

Not in a terribly clear world of mind to comment on so many wonderful journal entries of friends and bookmarks. Nothing bad or wrong, just swiss-cheese-brain and elastic attention span.

So I'll catch-up and keep up soon. Love to you all.

Even the folks on my friends list I barely hear from, or I've never even heard one single word from. Maybe even especially to you. You're welcome here any time...

If I gave much creedence to emotions, I'd say that I am sad.

Is "lost" an emotion? Or "confused"? Or "on tenterhooks". What I'm feeling is more like dedication in limbo. I'm not so sure where I stand in the outer world, right now. That includes SG, as well as my 3d life. Romantic, sexual, friendships, family.

Not numb. Not cold.

My emotional distance isn't a Vulcan/Spock sorta gig, it's a release and blissful suspicion of clinging to emotion. They come and go, these moments of chemical and incident coinciding, then they gossamer into fate and spark, stored to flame memory. But memory is surrogate experience, surfacing only to guide or adjust position, then tucked away like a map folded backwards at the odd or misplaced crease: it may still show the way for later selves, but it's mostly done...we're there and we know the way home.


(Feedback cycle of the human mind...creatures whose bodies rot, clinging to something...anything...a sad clutching at immortality through obsessive analysis and reiteration. Learn to clear the chatter-head, and you'll have it all. BE it all. Stillness. Then Movement Truly Starts.


"Thank God" is meditation. I'm not a religious man. Don't know what that means, really. But Spirit...Love....Truth...Process...it's All so simple.)


***

Dr. Usui would often perform treatments with two middle fingers of right hand in a diamond point with thumb, pinky and index extended, left hand heaven-pointed and connected.

Such economy.

I see his Pooh-belly under Kimono, the smiling eyes
and such stoic grace on his face.



What did you see on Mt. Kurama, those 21 days and 21 pebbles falling, flicked?


Nevermind.

I know...


And knowing is Knowing

That you Know


namaste


-c.






VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
hellomrworld:
i def. feel confused sometimes ... just let it happen sometimes
Nov 10, 2005
vuokko:
I know what you mean, I think. Does it all tie in to being overwhelmed? Because that's the one I know.

Take care,
~V
Nov 11, 2005

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