billybillybilly

most of my short visits to the site lately have been on my roomie sara's laptop. working through the joy of a dial up connection.

beauty.

interpol is coming. this is a breath of fresh air. haven't been to a bigger show in AGES. this is just necessary.

yes.

things i've been doing a lot of lately:

playing tetris.

drinking jagermeister.

walking.

not driving. and yeah, trust me when i say that counts.

i'm in a new area of town now, and by far the best place in town i've ever lived. every day that i walk outside there are things happening, people moving, lives in motion and not just crackheads hanging out on corners hustling their neighbors for loose change.

this is nice.

emotionally, this has been the hardest few months of my life. my world crashed there. the whole barge got stuck on some debris and i had to troll my past for spare parts. it would seem i owe someone a present.

there is an inevitable meeting, and it should be taking place in a week or so. please, understand, i'm going to need some support after that.

i don't like who i'd become there for a while. i had a conversation today and realized one major thing:

love wins.

unfortunately. no matter what you see coming, even if every horrible thing that happens is within sight. even when everything piles up and you sit at the bottom of the mountain watching the avalanche coming, smoking cigarettes and waiting just watching you still choose to give your heart up, take the hit. up up and away. it's especially hard when you don't give back what you've put in, but life is not fair.

gotta build back up as much as i can.

gonna add to this later, but it's just this way right now.