billybillybilly

the recipe, PART a)

oil and water:

myself, and my selfish wants. (drama drama drama)
best decisions, and needs i could go without. (primitive or sofisticated?)
plans, and inevitability. (you know you will)
self-control, and stimulation. (look, but don't touch)
clothing, and imagery. (but not always)
he, and me. (don't leave us alone)
she, and her. (don't leave me lonely)
lifestyle, and life-expectancy. (someday things catch up)
jealousy, openness. (but never would have it another way)
love, and letting go. (someone wrote a song for this...)
the way you are, and the way you're needed to be. (there's a place in theatre for you)
who you love, and who loves you. (Palahniuk put it best)





all of these exist,

but some of them don't mix well.

* * *

PART b)

whoever believes in luck is wrong. if you believe in fate, you've only seen patterns of what you wanted after staring too long. dust to dust, and human minds will construct entire cities between the two.

examples:

when a good thing happens, you've been signaled to brace for impact.

it is the nature of things to fall apart.

true love will find you, if it's what you actually happen to be searching for.

just when things can't get any worse...

* * *

PART c)

it's you and me baby, and this jesus complex.

* * *

PARD d)

all my buttons - exposed, lie at the tips of your fingers. we may very well be doomed to relive our embarrassing moments, but we're hardly doomed to let them effect us as they always have.

i have nerves like frayed wires and my electricity spills. it's been a long time coming, even though i've not arrived. if anyone knows, you know.

in cleansing yourself of worry, of regret, hot baths go a long way. run it over my head and i'll let this bleed out, however i can. put it in my hands and i'll drop it, but carry it with me and the weight won't sink us.