Thank you goes to neodrunk for the use of the vehicle while you were laid up. Also thanks for the wonderful conversation, it has been enlightening. You are a WONDERFUL friend.
Thank you goes to Danielle for cooking me wonderful dinners the last couple nights. And following me to the car place. It is GREATLY appreciated.
Thank you goes to SGTC for entertaining me so thoroughly at breakfast this morning.
Thank you goes to Metro Transit for providing free buses these few days that I'll have had no vehicle.
* * * * *
so much debt... i hate realizing that i'm drowning. it's so much more fun to act blissfully unaware. thought i may have had $500 waiting for me. turns out it's all going back to where it came from, if i can even access it. who knows. i have a long apology to write when i'm done with this.
* * * * *
for entertainment purposes (because it seems that some people read these things after all) i'll include a stupid little article i wrote just now, sort of for the sake of writing sort of not. who cares...
anyway...
Ghost:
...because maybe i dreamed you. a grey profile washing across the smooth surfaces of a bedroom i've woken up in. it's never been until i close my eyes that i feel a hand on my own. i've been months now, conversing warm hallucinations. there are questions why i bother with your spirit, even with brush fires igniting around my footsteps. they must have been mine, though i was convinced it was someone staring at me. who are you, and where did you leave me?
on the ledges and near gutters, off of my left side, near my shadow a piecemeal apparition walks alone but close to me. it bonded together from needs i've seen in the eyes of my friends. kindred souls, common with me, who dried up last year...
we watched skin expose. lusted, it looks bronze or it looks amber or it looks ivory. flesh has such subtle distinctions, imperfections or grand mistakes that it prints on our minds. these stone incarnations, you have no flaws one couldn't dismiss as being relevant. this is a need like thirsty.
somewhere in the middle i dropped through a crack. the hole in the wall that my will opened up, tore open, made wider, sucked me in. i went on willing and continue through the veins of this city and i see so much more underneath looking up.
then i lay myself down. there are so many cold spots in this room beneath the covers. i've warmed them so much they came alive, dear ghost i put my fire in you. this time i'll wear something larger, fewer pieces and drop the jewelry. no more tourniquets around my fingers like the past cutting off hope for new memories.
if you look in the mirror hard enough your reflection changes. you are my reflection because i've created what i needed but i formed you from my wants. what i wanted changes so rapidly hot and cold, there are storms brewing and your cloak hides me from the world...
who are you to take me away from this, to keep me for yourself? the toys around me serve no function, but they decorate this room into horror.
Thank you goes to Danielle for cooking me wonderful dinners the last couple nights. And following me to the car place. It is GREATLY appreciated.
Thank you goes to SGTC for entertaining me so thoroughly at breakfast this morning.
Thank you goes to Metro Transit for providing free buses these few days that I'll have had no vehicle.
* * * * *
so much debt... i hate realizing that i'm drowning. it's so much more fun to act blissfully unaware. thought i may have had $500 waiting for me. turns out it's all going back to where it came from, if i can even access it. who knows. i have a long apology to write when i'm done with this.
* * * * *
for entertainment purposes (because it seems that some people read these things after all) i'll include a stupid little article i wrote just now, sort of for the sake of writing sort of not. who cares...
anyway...
Ghost:
...because maybe i dreamed you. a grey profile washing across the smooth surfaces of a bedroom i've woken up in. it's never been until i close my eyes that i feel a hand on my own. i've been months now, conversing warm hallucinations. there are questions why i bother with your spirit, even with brush fires igniting around my footsteps. they must have been mine, though i was convinced it was someone staring at me. who are you, and where did you leave me?
on the ledges and near gutters, off of my left side, near my shadow a piecemeal apparition walks alone but close to me. it bonded together from needs i've seen in the eyes of my friends. kindred souls, common with me, who dried up last year...
we watched skin expose. lusted, it looks bronze or it looks amber or it looks ivory. flesh has such subtle distinctions, imperfections or grand mistakes that it prints on our minds. these stone incarnations, you have no flaws one couldn't dismiss as being relevant. this is a need like thirsty.
somewhere in the middle i dropped through a crack. the hole in the wall that my will opened up, tore open, made wider, sucked me in. i went on willing and continue through the veins of this city and i see so much more underneath looking up.
then i lay myself down. there are so many cold spots in this room beneath the covers. i've warmed them so much they came alive, dear ghost i put my fire in you. this time i'll wear something larger, fewer pieces and drop the jewelry. no more tourniquets around my fingers like the past cutting off hope for new memories.
if you look in the mirror hard enough your reflection changes. you are my reflection because i've created what i needed but i formed you from my wants. what i wanted changes so rapidly hot and cold, there are storms brewing and your cloak hides me from the world...
who are you to take me away from this, to keep me for yourself? the toys around me serve no function, but they decorate this room into horror.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
scoots:
rumor has it you and neo are dating now
danielle:
oh your welcome... anytime. nest time i will make salmon