"I've worried about a lot more than has actually happened. So what I'm saying is that I need to worry about the situations when they BECOME situations, rather than worry about what MIGHT happen."
humbling words, especially to hear them coming from my own mouth.
trust is something you grant and are granted, and what are you to do with it? who do you trust to put faith in when we'll all fuck up?
"say your heart is like, this egg. and you have this egg and what YOU'RE saying is that you need to hide that egg and that you need to make sure it doesn't break.
"and what I'M saying is that i trust the people i put around myself. at any given moment i would trust any one of these people with that egg. i would hand it to them with no regrets, and if they drop it then tomorrow i'll hand it over again."
i still don't know how he had the wisdom and the foresight to tell me that. sounds so cliched, but it's so fucking true. you know who your friends are. maybe sometimes they break your heart, but how much of that is due to what YOU want to happen, and not what's best for them?
* * * * *
people who know these situations, folks who have the inside track will generally tell me variations of ONE thing:
"get out now. get out while you can, this is a bad situation and it'll only hurt you."
and for what they know they are right. but then i go back into these situations thinking i'm armed with some kind of peace of mind, but really i've just been trained to be gunshy. watching for warning signs. fuck that. and what good is all this?
i know now, and maybe tomorrow i won't...
but right now. i KNOW that it's better to enter a situation with trust. like a child. like a little fucking kid who wants the best for everything and sees the bad in nothing and wants to climb trees and doesn't worry for what MIGHT or what COULD or what CAN or even what WILL happen. even what WILL happen doesn't always end up to come true.
two paths diverged in a wood and i
i picked up the pearl jam and neil young album MERKINBALL
and THAT has made all the difference.
i don't always wish the best for people when it is not in my own interest, and the response i get to that is that "you've got to look out for yourself first." another one i get is, "there's a difference between being unselfish and being walked on." and to that i say, "fuck my own needs. if you look out for yourself and you serve yourself first and you hold yourself safe and you keep yourself sane and you take so much care to not wear out and you wish for the best for yourself and your life and you hide yourself and you don't put that egg out there to be broken and you leave the best things for yourself, then in the end...
"all you're left with is yourself. and all you're left is lonely."
humbling words, especially to hear them coming from my own mouth.
trust is something you grant and are granted, and what are you to do with it? who do you trust to put faith in when we'll all fuck up?
"say your heart is like, this egg. and you have this egg and what YOU'RE saying is that you need to hide that egg and that you need to make sure it doesn't break.
"and what I'M saying is that i trust the people i put around myself. at any given moment i would trust any one of these people with that egg. i would hand it to them with no regrets, and if they drop it then tomorrow i'll hand it over again."
i still don't know how he had the wisdom and the foresight to tell me that. sounds so cliched, but it's so fucking true. you know who your friends are. maybe sometimes they break your heart, but how much of that is due to what YOU want to happen, and not what's best for them?
* * * * *
people who know these situations, folks who have the inside track will generally tell me variations of ONE thing:
"get out now. get out while you can, this is a bad situation and it'll only hurt you."
and for what they know they are right. but then i go back into these situations thinking i'm armed with some kind of peace of mind, but really i've just been trained to be gunshy. watching for warning signs. fuck that. and what good is all this?
i know now, and maybe tomorrow i won't...
but right now. i KNOW that it's better to enter a situation with trust. like a child. like a little fucking kid who wants the best for everything and sees the bad in nothing and wants to climb trees and doesn't worry for what MIGHT or what COULD or what CAN or even what WILL happen. even what WILL happen doesn't always end up to come true.
two paths diverged in a wood and i
i picked up the pearl jam and neil young album MERKINBALL
and THAT has made all the difference.
i don't always wish the best for people when it is not in my own interest, and the response i get to that is that "you've got to look out for yourself first." another one i get is, "there's a difference between being unselfish and being walked on." and to that i say, "fuck my own needs. if you look out for yourself and you serve yourself first and you hold yourself safe and you keep yourself sane and you take so much care to not wear out and you wish for the best for yourself and your life and you hide yourself and you don't put that egg out there to be broken and you leave the best things for yourself, then in the end...
"all you're left with is yourself. and all you're left is lonely."
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
indeed, to the future