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billybillybilly

Vietnam

Member Since 2004

Followers 151 Following 188

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Sunday Jan 07, 2007

Jan 6, 2007
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...2007...


*

Some things I wish for (I don't really do the resolution thing, that's more like a daily/weekly/monthly thing):


As I've determined that I've been in a strange emotional state lately, come to a deeper understanding of what the parts are. That make sense?

Stop all these messy half/non-relationships.

Meet some more folks on my friend's list, should any of them be up for that.

Start a project, something big.

Finish a fucking project, fucking anything.

Watch more television (yeah, kind of a first, but I genuinely want to).

Be more social in general, and more creatively (alcohol is easy enough, but come on). So far so good (except about the alcohol thing).

Update now and then.

Find new music at the very least: monthly. Hopefully more.

Finish all my Vonnegut novels I bought over the holidays. Not too worried about that one.

Shake this feeling that the world is about to end whether or not it actually will.

*


Things I do not wish for:


I do not wish to extend my friendships on this site, for the most part. Sorry for the following rant, but it's simply on my mind right now, I'm not exactly convinced people read this anymore anyway, so I don't feel too bad about it, but... This site's community used to be really fantastic, like, stellar. People were accessible. Now it seems that anytime I read an interesting comment and click on that person's journal everything they have on their profile is "friends only" and that's awesome if that's what this community wants, but it's not for me. Personally, I think that beyond the basics (like whether or not you're online, etc) privacy on the internet is a myth, and is a bit of a cop-out to hide. In my head it sounds like this, "If you don't want people who don't know you to see it, or read it, don't post it in the first place." I crave new relationships, I need to re-connect with humanity in general, and this is no longer an outlet for that which part of me finds genuinely sad.

I do not wish to change the world or the people around me at this time. Don't take that to mean I don't think I do, but I want this next undecided amount of time to be about exploration rather than social or personal change.

I do not wish to be complacent.

I no longer wish to have a job without benefits, healthcare, or stable hours. It worked for a while, now it's getting old.

I no longer wish to feel I need anyone to walk with me through my life.

*


Okay, so, the list in itself is a bit of a start. Baby steps guys, baby steps. How's the year treating you so far? Good, not good? January 1st was a beautiful day (I hope you remember), let's hope that says something about how the rest will be.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
tinyelvis:
This site has all the potential in the world. But..........

Always up for a flic, if you'd like.

But, I know TinyE's aren't that cool anyways.... **walks away bum'd out**

You the Man Cube!!!

Resolution?
----Maybe, masturbate more? EL SUICIDO LOCO
Jan 7, 2007
saramonster:
I love how you think no one reads your journal. If it weren't for the fact that I got a free membership, I doubt I would be, actually. But hey! Here I am reading your journal because you rock my world still and you're nice to relate to.

Find love in who you are and what you are.. and you will be happy alone. You wont feel the need to have someone around constantly whom you love. You will be content with yourself.

How's that for a comment? LOVE!
Jan 7, 2007

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